The Brush Off

2008 is half over and my semi-annual report card bemoans failing grades for accomplishing the goals I set forth for myself for the year.

In the year that I dedicated solely to re-writing and finishing a novel, other ventures have placed my pen down and my time, energy, and creativity is being channelled elsewhere. Painting hockey miniatures for customers spanning the globe has dominated my free time and acting gigs further take me away from my love of writing.

All I am doing now is finishing one job to start another. I have enough painting orders to work 24 hours a day save a few knockoff hours for sleep. My wife now calls me narcissistic when I act and Jepeto when I paint. Somewhere between narcissism and Jepeto is an overworked social worker who believes that deep down he is truly meant to be a published author.

As I paint away in my toyshop, I often guiltily stare at my hand that manipulates an artist paintbrush and not a writer’s pen. Crafting art has replaced crafting words. I need to return to the art of storytelling but cannot find my way back despite the repeated promises I make to myself. My word, like my words, isn’t good enough.