Freudian Slips: Not Happening Decorum

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 26, 2008

Not Happening Decorum

A successful letter writing campaign enticed Cinemark Theatre to donate a movie prop from the movie The Happening to me. Nearly ten feet tall and six feet wide, the movie poster depicts an ominous scene pressed on three dimensional cardboard that came assembled in four sections with hardware.
The only place in my house that could accommodate its grandness was the open foyer. My wife kept shaking her head in disagreement to my grandiose plans of its installation in our otherwise tasteful home. I knew what she was thinking…all this for a seven second sliver as an actor in a major motion picture that reviewers rated no higher than three stars and as low as one and a half stars.
One twelve foot ladder, picture hanging parts, and handyman rigging got it up on the wall but my vain efforts did not help its permanent installation in my home. What I needed was high rising scaffolding and an interior designer to securely hang that poster. I had access and funding for neither. While I wrestled it up on the bare wall, like my scene in the movie, it was not for long. The prop was in a general state of decline from the moment I got off the ladder. When its creaking sag threatened to take out our chandelier in a fall, the gig was up.
I gave it all the props that I could but ended up removing what was not happening for me from the wall. The truth of the matter is that I was still making a scene but I could not hold this movie up…no matter how hard I tried. It just wasn't happening.

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Missy said...

So the Grand movie prop of the Grand actor's seven seconds of silver got it's own 15 minutes of Fame!

11:33 PM  
Blogger mommanator said...

but at least you do have bragging rights, who else ya know does? Did you hear your friend Mark Walhberg is getting hitched?

10:18 AM  
Anonymous et said...

Joe, what is happening is: "You're losing it!"

Diane is right; get over your seven seconds of frames!

12:41 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

missy,
...if it was up that long. lol

mommanator,
his girlfriend is pregnant with their third kid. guess the time is right.

et,
see the movie. get back to me.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there, I believe the poster to be an imposter.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
hang in there. funny. lol

8:07 AM  
Anonymous marcus said...

I just tell it to you straight. It was dumb spot for it. Prop it up in the basement where it belongs.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

marcus,
it was going to be a temporary installation.

9:22 PM  

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