Freudian Slips: A Better Mousetrap

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 08, 2008

A Better Mousetrap

When it comes to technological advances, what comes out of the scientific community no longer surprises me because the world is operating beyond my expectations and understanding. Coming out of the shower, however, a recent news broadcast caught me with my pants down. I watched an ingenious scientist from Wake Forest University working beyond traditional beakers and test tubes of a sterile laboratory. As I dripped dry, I marveled at this scientist’s advances in tissue, muscle, and organ regeneration in both animal studies and human samples. However, the morality of God creating man then man creating man violates some personal sanctity that I have never been able to resolve or integrate.
My television showed this white-jacketed scientist seated at a seemingly ordinary computer workstation. I thought nothing of it because practically everything is done on a computer these days and information is exchanged at such an alarming rate in what is fast becoming a world wide web of a paperless society. Get a load out of this.
The scientist revealed what was in his computer printer, what was inside the printer cartridge. He housed a single mouse cell inside the otherwise empty printer cartridge. From his computer, he was sending the genetic code for a mouse heart to that cell right through the printer. Albeit in ordinary household fashion, the printer arm repeatedly moved that cartridge over the scanner sending critical impulses of information. He touted success being able to grow an entire mouse heart from a cellular level using nothing more than isolated DNA program code received through a Hewlett Packard printer.
While I understand that these scientific advances hold extraordinary promise for amputees and burn victims, I stared into that mouse baby crib and wanted something more from the scientific community. Until the world moves to a totally paperless society, I will blame humans for not inventing a better printer cartridge able to print more than 100 pages before shelling out $50.00 bucks for another container of black dye now suited as a better mousetrap. Besides, what will those human engineered mice harvested from a mother board and printer eat in a paperless society?

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5 Comments:

Blogger Weary Hag said...

Amazing. Perhaps they can engineer paper cheese or similated cheese? We already have cheese in a can. Cheese in a motherboard? That possible? Why not.

Yeah. The cartridges are a royal screwing - yet we allow it to continue. What's that say about us, anyway?

9:24 AM  
Anonymous et said...

The mice will eat shards of paper which will set up an inhuman thirst for liquid. This unusual thirst will only be satiated by drinking the ink from your high priced ink cartridge.

You think you use a lot of ink, now!!! Well, just wait until those cloned babies get a hold of your printer.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Missy said...

Of Mice and Men, everyone must eat some of their words from time to time.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

weary,
simulated cheese. good one.

et,
you sound like John here.

missy,
that's two in a row.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

weary,
simulated cheese. good one.

et,
you sound like John here.

missy,
that's two in a row.

10:22 AM  

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