Freudian Slips: Where There Is Smoke, There is Fire

Freudian SlipsImage Hosted by


My Photo
Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

May 26, 2008

Where There Is Smoke, There is Fire

Where there is smoke, there is fire. I doubted whether I would live to say this but today was a stupendous day. Searching for kindling at the base of our woods to burn in our chiminera, I disturbed a yellow jacket nest. The bees refused to accept my sincere apology because I got stung in the neck, which for an anaphylactic with Mastocytosis is akin to a bulls eye in darts on the receiving end. I felt the pinch in my neck and heard buzzing all the way up the hill. A testament to my stubborness, I never dropped the kindling in fleeing. I ran into the house mouthing to my wife the same sorry doomsday scenario that she has heard for the third time in six years in only a seven year marriage.
I panted, “I think I got stung by a bee.”
By the time I checked for the stinger in my neck with a glance in the bathroom mirror, my concerned loving wife had already made it to the car with my Epi-pens. I jumped in the car and we rode to the hospital at breakneck speed. I worked to lower my heart rate to avoid spreading the bee venom even faster. She worked to save my life again.
A few tedious moments passed before I knew that something was going strangely right this time. Nothing happened. I never even used my Epi-pen although I should have erred on the side of caution. I wanted this to be the litmus test for the years of immunotherapy and clinical trials at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. Other than a slight local reaction on my neck, no other symptoms developed. Against my wife’s better judgment, I never left our parked car at the emergency room entrance to seek medical attention in the hospital. Like a bulldog, I came home and built that fire for the chiminera. It was a stupendous day, a truly memorable Memorial Day weekend.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like there is yard work in your future after all. Bee-Leave-it-or-not.

9:31 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Congrats on the litmus-BUT I prob would have been like your sweety and not left it to the test of time!

11:54 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

What does a guy gotta do to get out of yard work I wonder?

You sound like a nurse with an orderly tone of voice. lol

1:06 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

Hooray! Now that IS some good news! Still, send the yung'uns after the kindling next time, just to be sure.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Wood you believe, they weren't around?

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hiring Illegal aliens is one thing, but when assembling a tiki bar, you had to bring in the big guns. Hey, we work for food.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

After 50 mgs of Benadryl, I couldn't work the allen wrench or a RPD.

6:17 PM  
Blogger E said...

You are a man of steel. I'd have been all over that ER... ;)

5:27 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

ah, the fire inside.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Congradulations. I would have had a hard time not panicking. You're a brave soul

9:56 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I got to stay out of the woods.

1:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Image Hosting at