Freudian Slips: The Tartar Sauce Incident

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

January 07, 2007

The Tartar Sauce Incident

When I knew Otto Warburge in the late 1980’s, he was a fifty year old cigar smoking moderately retarded male whose body failed him by middle age. Although still categorized as an elopement risk, Otto was almost too old to be considered a runaway threat by the institution that housed him. No matter what his chart chronicled, Otto's creative use of vocabulary could put a wide smile on any face.
In the dining area, meals were served family style. To a varying degree of success, clients passed large bowls and plates of food around the busy table. I drew the assignment of helping to supervise the lunch meal. Make no mistake about the aroma, the fare of the day consisted of fish sticks and tater tots.
I overheard Otto make a simple request to his peers sitting at the other end of the table. “Pass the retarder sauce.”
“The what?” I asked.
“The retarder sauce for the fish sticks.” repeated Otto.
I picked up the small bowl of what I thought he was looking for. “Do you mean the tarter sauce, Otto?”
“That is what I said stupid, the retarder sauce.”
The English language may never have been more self-incriminating.

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The English language may never have been more self-incriminating"

Joe, 'tis himself, indeed?

11:50 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
all i know is the sauce tastes pretty good on fish sticks. lol.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Say these words out loud:

EYE
YAM
WEE
TODD
DID

Do you feel better?

Mike

12:09 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Mike,
Heck of an eye exam you got going there.

3:23 PM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

I Am Sofa King Wee Todd Did

1:10 PM  
Anonymous tar said...

jarjar woulda loved the tartar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSE_f82qMPM

10:58 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

tar,
I am not doubting you. lol

11:47 PM  

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