Freudian Slips: Septa See Me

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

August 30, 2008

Septa See Me

-Will the real ham and egger, please stand up.

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Last Ham Standing!

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Thrilla in HiNella........
(hear the words of legendary sportscaster Howard Cosell as you read this) Labor Day morning 2008, the arena, Sterling High School Tennis Center. Tornatore VS. Schules, brother in-law vs. brother in-law, painter vs. painter, a storied rivalry of two over the hill tennis wan-na-bees. The history: 136 matches, 129 wins tonatore, 7 wins schules ( and a couple of ties, maybe). On this glorious sunny day, both arrive for match 137. Schules takes the first set 6-2. Tornatore stunned, shaking his head in disbelief, proclaims, "Let's play another". right away Tornatore turns up his game, trying desparately to hold off his charging opponent. Tornatore races to a 3-2 lead, wondering Can I hold on? When is it going to rain? As the doubts turn to missed shots, tornatore finds the set tied 5-5. Schules takes the next game to grab a 6-5 lead, and control of the match.

Through the years this rivalry has spawned some memorable moments ( all when tornatore was about to lose). The "Carolina Heat Stroke Match", The "Downpour Match", the "Lightning Match", The "It's Too Dark Match", "Bees on the Court Match" .

And now, the Drama unfolds. It's 6-5 in games, with schules in the lead, schules is leading the next game and needs just two more points to win. Tornatore is on the ropes, rain, sleet, or snow cannot save him now. So I thought! They volley back and forth for the next point, schules sends tornatore to his right, tornatore can't reach the ball, schules gets the point, one point to go for victory. Wait a minute, wait a minute! Tornatore is hobbled, he's limping, he's wincing in pain ( all that acting has paid off). Can he continue or,is this a medical forfeit?

Standing statuesque in the receiving box tornatore returns schules lob serve. Schules returns volley as tornatore watches the point go by. Game, Set, Match

2:38 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

joe,
I do not know what Calcutta calculator you used to come up with 7 previous set wins. I had two and will swear to it in affidavit, if need be. As far as sportscasting goes, this was the first match you took from me. Had it not been for a twisted knee and the blurry condition associated with an eye disease, I might have taken you to a tiebreaker. Alas, it was not to be, and spoils go to the victor. Right now, i got to getch thisd ffffffreaking eye loooookedddhb at, i cabent see a thingr.

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe,
Neither is the 129 deemed factual. I didn't realize there was an eye injury as well. I think The "My agent called, I Gotta Go Match" I left out.

Sincerely,
George Plimptone

4:49 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Dear George,
You spelled your name wrong.

7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That george died several years back. Let's save the banter for the living, rest his soul!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

You look handsome in an apron. Maybe you can audition to be the next Food Network chef.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

jessica,
thanks for the compliment.

5:52 PM  

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