Freudian Slips: Nailing Stupid Down

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

August 11, 2008

Nailing Stupid Down

After a fistfight on film between actors Billy Gallo and Tony Luke Jr, my bar bouncing scene called for me to pick the rendered unconscious loser off the ground like he was a piece of trash. The director yelled cut with me hoisting the lifeless body from the sidewalk. However, my acting partner put his hands to his knees and began to vomit after the fight scene.

Playing the bar owner, William Forsthye,(Dick Tracy, Halloween, Devil’s Rejects) stood to my immediate right standing on the bar stoop. Since we were in frame together in the scene, I turned to him for an answer.

“Did I grab him too hard or was it my acting?”

More concerned for the ill fellow thespian, Forsthye did not answer me.

“Those punches only grazed him.” I said confusingly. “What do you think is the matter?”

William Forsthye gave me a quizzical stare. “You ever tasted a blood pack before? They are nasty.”

My acting scenes to date featured more inertia then action. I had never even seen a stunt man on a set before doing this movie. It was good to be in the thick of things even as a cleanup man but I was feeling my oats. I answered, “Well, ugh, no, I haven’t.”

Following my answer, Forsthye’s next look at me confirmed the following negative summation: Non-union naïve bit actor with no faux fight experience on a set. My words proved all too forgettable but his look was unforgettable. It was like I needed a good punch in the mouth, on the set of course.

The prop and wardrobe girls came rushing to the scene. Crew called for the medical doctor assigned to the set to render opinion. The director and first AD left their posts to come to the scene. A huddle formed.

Veteran actor Leo Rossi did not need to troubleshoot either. “You think they could have bought flavored blood packs.”

“Yeah, I agree.” I pretended, not even knowing if there was such a thing.

Over two hundred film credits and enormous talent surrounded me. Sometimes it is better to try and pretend to fit in as an actor than asking the wrong question. Judging William Forsthye’s stunned expression, I knew my acting made more sense then nailing stupid down.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shall we rename your blog?

Freudian Scene Slips sounds like a good new name.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

It is becoming that.

5:16 PM  

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