Freudian Slips: A Sucker Punch Born Every Minute

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

July 16, 2008

A Sucker Punch Born Every Minute

While tailgating with friends before an Eagles rock concert, a non-credentialed man approached us in the parking lot. He resorted to the voice of a salesman after an initial hello. He handed me a bumper sticker with a provocative slur on it. He likewise handed out stickers to the other members of our party. He encouraged their placarded use and made liberal commentary. He filled our hands and I wondered if he wanted us to fill his.

Upon receipt of a decal he probably bought on Ebay for 65 cents in a bundle pack lot, he asked us to open our wallets and provide donation to his worthy cause. He promised that proceeds would benefit forsaken battered women in shelters. I almost crinkled the sticker seemingly given to me for free only a moment ago. My sticker read Spank Me I’ve Been Naughty!
When the other members of my party provided an instant cash flow to someone I considered a sticky con man, I wondered if I was missing the charitable side of being human. However, I reasoned that nobody with compassion for victims of domestic violence would salute the stickers he handed out while voicing politically incorrect gibes. It left me incredulous and irritated coming from my mindset as a career social worker. I did not have the words for it then but I can tell you the experience felt like a sucker punch and it gave me sticker shock.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was he also wearing a sleeveless white t-shirt ?

12:55 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

You have the makings of a white beater tee shirt.

5:06 PM  
Anonymous The Polish Hammer said...

Sounds like this guy needed a sucker punch for trying to take advantage of people. That's wrong. I'm a little upset that your Polish friends gave him money. I guess they enjoy getting tricked? Tell them to stick to Halloween.

Trick Or Treat,
The Polish Hammer

9:27 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

the Polish Hammer,
Imagine what Ivan Putski would have done to him. lol

9:43 PM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Humm a guy 's gotta make money somehow, at least he wasn't out beating the wife!
That really is a low life huh!?
glad you're back you punster you

8:04 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

What if he does not get enough donations and returns home to his wife pissed off and angry?

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Ivan Putski said...

Ivan Putski, nice one! Lol.

I bet he does beat his wife too. This guy needs to be stopped, and I think Putski is the right guy for the job!!!

Take it Easy,
Ivan Putski

1:19 AM  
Blogger E said...

Glad you're back!

5:17 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

hammer time. lol


8:27 AM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

That almost beats the bums we have out here that pretend to be deaf and hand out sign language prints outs at red lights. I like to mummble obscene things at them while pretending to look for change. And guess what? They can hear you the moment you call them 'ScumBags'
Praiz Jebus!

12:14 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

That comment was too funny. I can picture it all the way.

8:30 AM  

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