Freudian Slips: The Weak Minded

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

March 30, 2006

The Weak Minded

In the bowels of the free weight room at my gym, I noticed a huge weight lifting belt supporting a European looking man. He seemed to be walking gingerly back and forth between vigorous sets. It wasn’t the free range of motion associated with heavy lifting. I struck up a casual conversation. It soon became apparent that English wasn’t his best language on the planet. Since he knew only broken English, I asked him straightforward questions.

“Why are you wearing that big belt?” As if he were deaf, I pointed down to his belt apparatus.

He replied, “Weak back.”

“I’m sorry. When did you hurt your back?” In believing that he was hurt, I pointed to his back.

Again he said, “Week back.”

Wanting to clarify that he had been injured a week ago, I asked, “All right, tell me when you hurt it?”

“Week back.” He grunted. “Weak back.”

In a last ditch effort to salvage sense, I tried a different approach. I queried, “How long do you have to wear it?”

“Two hours, it’s week today.”

I went back to doing my sit-ups. There was too much insult to injury with this guy. Call me weak-minded but his workout sounded too damned complicated. Let somebody more caring than me figure it out.



Anonymous Catherine Mary said...

Joe, Sometimes we just don't get it. When I was a kid I asked my mom who baptised me. She said Father Neveraskus. I asked her why she never asked him. This went on for awhile until she said. Catherine Mary his NAME is Father Never ask us. I burst into laughter. I just didn't get it.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Catherine Mary,
i heard that same story just last WEEK.

12:29 AM  
Anonymous catherine Mary said...

From who!

12:41 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Catherine Mary,
play on words, WEEK, you know, Weak minded. That one was for your mother. We got you again.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Catherine MAry said...

Very funny! You did get me AGAIN. My mother will get you on Wednesday because you messed with her little girl.

2:27 PM  
Blogger PaxRomano said...

You should have asked him, "Who's on first?"

3:05 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Catherine Mary,
If the room starts to smell like meatballs, I'm out of there. lol.
By the way, we have to have our reading ahead of my mom because she has been known to explode a psychic's crystal ball from time to time.

He would have started the sentence with "First and foremost," then digressed.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous et said...

Pax, I'm a little hard of hearing! Did you say, "First and foremost," then got dressed?

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Catherine Mary said...

Joe, I'll be out the door before you. I said the same thing to Gloria. Somehow we have to be read before Auntie Em.

2:30 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Catherine Mary,
I'm thinking of a number between 1-10. No, that wasn't it. I'm first.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Catherine Mary said...

Sorry, we all get heard together. We sit around a large round table. Bring a tape recorder with you. Lisa stands in front of us for approximately 2 hours.

2:12 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

this must be where the term 'group rate' came from.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Merci said...

Next time, try the Lanuage Line...

10:44 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

or a different gym.

11:50 AM  

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