Freudian Slips: A Brush with Death, A Toothbrush for Life

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

March 20, 2006

A Brush with Death, A Toothbrush for Life

I heard my wife asking me a remedial question while I lay sound asleep. A foggy notion, I couldn’t figure out why the question warranted the interruption of my sleep. Diane exited the bathroom and stood bedside awaiting my conscious reply. Not really prepared to move my lips yet, I stirred restlessly underneath the comforter.

“Joe, why do you own so many new toothbrushes?” my wife repeated the question.

“So I don’t need to buy toothbrushes for the rest of my life.” I mumbled groggily.

“That is ridiculous.” Diane commented.

Some questions are better off left unsaid. Never ask a person, who has obsessive compulsive traits, a silly question like that. Some answers are better left unspoken. In this case, the real reason tops even the eyesore of neatly stacked packaged toothbrushes. I charted toothbrush changes bi-annually over my normal life expectancy to come up with the comfortable purchase in bulk quantity. My wife says there is medication for that. She has told me this…even in my sleep.

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7 Comments:

Blogger honkeie2 said...

I have my primary one and a bunch I keep for cleaning other stuff...

9:20 AM  
Blogger Maidink said...

My late husband's dad used to buy shaving cream. Whenever he and the MIL went shopping, he would purchase shaving cream. Colgate and Barbasol were the preferred brands.

He passed away over three years ago. My now former MIL collected all the cans and donated them. From what I here, it was almost four cases worth.

1:25 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Honk,
Keep them seperate with a divider or something.

Maidink,
We all have our idiosyncracies I guess. And condolences, I didn't know.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

My mom hoards, errrrr, stocks up on things, too. Canned goods, packets of sugar and mints from Burger King, lots of other stuff. She's a Depression baby, and she never wants to do without again.

I'd need like 4x as many toothebrushes, since I change mine often. The mind boggles.

What if you have to change brands for some reason?

My husband is compulsive about buying motor oil.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

merci,
I agree with your husband. The oily bird always gets the worm.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Antarro said...

Joe,
That's not that unusual. Your wife's timing on the other hand...
My uncle does the same thing with beer.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Antarro,
I wish it were a BRUSH with greatness instead of plain old brush.

12:31 AM  

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