Freudian Slips: The Price is Right

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 19, 2005

The Price is Right

The Price Is Right, television's longest running game show and winner of over a dozen Emmy awards has come to the Showboat Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. If you happen to be in Atlantic City for my auspicious book signing at nearby Ripleys Believe It or Not Museum on June 25-26th, this live game show may be more entertaining but don't let me talk you out of a book sale. This knockoff version of the real McCoy is a hoot. The price of admission is a steep $25.00 per person to sit in the audience but you actually get a bona fide chance to play for real prizes. The price was right for wife paid. The show is well scripted and includes the same props, games, and music. Funny outtakes from the original show entertain the audience.
The Showboat's The Price is Right is emceed by Todd Newton, whose previous experience hosting TV game shows like Whammy! shines through. He is no hug machine like Bob Barker but he is eloquent, funny, and disarming. Pink-coated comedian Daniel Rosen is the able announcer who excites the crowd not unlike prized foreplay. Twiggy eye-candy twins demonstrate the products with the usual hand waving, manufactured smiles, and flesh revealing curtsies. A camera crew produces the show across big screen televisions to add silver screen authenticity. Contestants are hilarious when materialism is on the line but watch who you laugh at because you will wind up on the big screen looking pretty silly. It wiped the spectator smile off of my face.
The show's battle cry of Come on Down heralded the lucky contestants to take the stage in a competition of shopping knowledge. The audience resembled a bingo hall with the occasional young couple sprinkled between aisles wrangled with wheelchairs, walkers, and canes. Senior citizens turned an hour show into an hour and a half odyssey without commercials. True to form, four players comprised Contestants Row, where they each guessed the retail price of a featured item. The contestant who guessed closest to the retail price joined the knockoff host to play for knockout prizes on stage. How did my wife and I fare? We couldn't get to Contestants Row if we had to guess the cost of a postage stamp on a first class letter. I overestimated the actual price on almost everything but I have always paid dearly for my mistakes in life.
The highlight of the show was capturing the winners faces beam with unrehearsed joy. Somebody won a refrigerator, another contestant treated themselves to a matching washer and dryer. We saw an all exclusive trip to Las Vegas won too when a woman sank a 15 foot golf putt. Tiger Woods would have taken a couple of practice swings before trying this putt. After she figured out which end of the club to use, she struck the dimple ball airborne over the hole. The ball ricocheted off of something on the set and returned to land in the hole. Talk about a stroke of luck! The geriatric crowd went so nuts that dentures rattled. The Grand Showcase included a brand new SUV, if you guessed it to the dollar. I wouldn't have been able to guess how much for the Turtle Wax used to shine it.
I applaud any casino, who is creative in taking my money. After The Price is Right, it was back to the nickel slots for me even though two gambling wrongs never make it right.



Blogger Zelda Parker said...

No jokes, no puns, no irony, I simply enjoy reading your stories!

8:42 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

There is more where that came from.

9:25 PM  

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