Tickling the Itch in Deep Throat

One of the last enduring mysteries is over. The identity of Deep Throat has been revealed as Mark Felt, the first assistant to the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Over the years, Deep Throat has been suspected of being a number of high ranking individuals including not only Mark Felt but Fred Fielding, deputy counsel to former President Richard Nixon. How many of you had Marilyn Chambers as Deep Throat in the office pool?

Can Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein keep a secret or what? We are talking three decades of not revealing your source. Some Roman Catholic priests have less holy of a track record in receiving confessionals. It is being reported that Mark Felt is 91 years old and in poor health. Carrying the sandbag weight of the legacy of a President on my shoulders, I would have died young. So why drudge all this up to torment a tormented old man? Why reveal and promote the most anonymous source in American journalism? I got to wonder. Humm, call me cynical but this sounds like a death bed confessional, a money maker for somebody in a position to gain after Felt’s eventual demise. I am not doubting the veracity of the admission but the timing of it smells like rotten flounder left on a sun-soaked dock.

The secret information Mark Felt leaked to Washington Post reporters brought down President Richard Millhouse Nixon. I do not hail Felt as a hero to this country nor am I any great fan of President Nixon's totalitarian ways. Let’s put on our revisionist history caps for a moment. Watergate was about scandal; the absolute abuse of executive power exemplified by a bungled burglary. Now that the story has broke, will Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein offer the American public some closure. Little more has been gained than Hal Holbrook knowing who he actually played in the acclaimed 1976 movie All the President’s Men. I hope more details follow. What was Mark Felt thinking in his clandestine operation as Deep Throat? Did Felt look at becoming an informant as the lesser of two evils? Did he become a traitor to his employer, the one and only FBI, for the sake of outing a President who toppled every messenger of contrary opinion?

It is a lesser known fact that Mark Felt authorized the 1980’s “Go and Tell” illegal home invasions of suspicious individuals. Freudian Slips is all over this peculiar irony. Felt must not have owned mirrors in his home and not been a big believer in history repeating itself even as his own historian. For this, Felt was indicted and convicted before another President, Ronald Reagen, issued him a pardon. Sounds like grossly similar crimes to me except for...the punishment. Resignation for Nixon and a pardon for Felt. Do you think President Reagen would have pardoned Felt if he knew he were Deep Throat? Benedict Arnold is turning over in his grave right now. This is a case of don’t poop or get off the pot you are calling black. It may have been better not to tickle the itch in a deep throat.

I consider both Felt and Nixon interesting but tragic misunderstood figures in American history. With this mystery falling by the wayside, all I got to find out is where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.