Freudian Slips: Going to the Well Once Too Often

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 12, 2005

Going to the Well Once Too Often

An empty well doesn’t necessarily mean it went dry. Maybe there was nothing in the well to begin with.
One of the day programs that serves individuals with developmental disabilities received an impromptu visit from a health inspector. I just happened to be in the building at the time of the inspection. I wondered what irony bestowed this chance encounter. Clipboard in hand, the female inspector approached the cluttered desk, where the center supervisor and I stood finishing up a conversation leading to nowhere.
“I’m here to test the well water.” The health inspector stated authoritatively.
“We will be only a couple more minutes.” informed the center supervisor. “Can you wait?”
The health inspector looked like she wanted to bail out of the situation and it would not have been all is well to end well. To make matters worse, the phone rang and it detained the center supervisor from dealing with either one of us. In a side conversation, I introduced myself to the female inspector making mention of someone I knew, who worked for her same employer. I tried to make small talk but she offered me a cold calculated silent treatment. In so many words, none, she was anti-social to a social worker. She offered nothing more than the acknowledgement that she, in fact, is a co-worker of the person I mentioned. The inspector adopted a disgusted look on her face as inquisitive developmentally disabled clients began to filter into the meeting room. She took a few steps backwards toward the door.
“I’m going to wait in the car.” she snorted cantankerously.
Only the well water could have been colder. I didn’t expect a standing ovation for mentioning someone we both knew, but she would have done Vanilla Ice’s song Ice Ice Baby proud. I thought her behavior was odd so I studied her quick retreat to her car. A couple of the clients infiltrated the room striking up speech-impaired conversation with me. Ever the inspector, she sat lumped in an idle car watching us finish the business at hand. She stared awkwardly through the big bay window as if we were fish in an aquarium. Only the aquarium water could have been colder.
Later that night, my relentless soul placed a call on the telephone to our mutual contact. I mentioned that I had met his unstylistic co-worker, who did not embrace the importance of first impressions.
He parleyed the bad vibes. “You did not leave a good impression with her either.”
“No way. What did she say?” I was perplexed by the categorization since I had been both friendly and inviting.
He reported secondhand what she concluded about me. It was recalled with pity and indifference to human life.
'I had no idea your friend has to work with a bunch of lousy tards.'
Tard is an archaic and offensive slang for retard. Evidently, she seemed put off that I was contributing to society. Oh, well. Inspectors of wells shouldn’t be dry of compassion.



Blogger Lost said...

What a bigoted bitch! I'm sure every one of the "tards" she was so nasty about could out personality her any day. Some people are SUCH a waste of skin.

9:55 AM  
Blogger justrose said...

what a bitch! good thing she didn't talk, nothing worthwhile would've come out.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Lame Shrill Owl said...

Those people frustrate me. I just want to scream at her "These 'tards' are so much better than you!"

11:43 AM  
Blogger the Contrary Goddess said...

Although I have to say, I find the term "retarded" both easier to say and more descriptive than "developmentally delayed" or whatever. Her disrespect is what sucks.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe, as I read your story, involuntary tears rolled down my cheeks. It may be that I'm just in a melancholy mood or my heart is too, too soft to live in a world with insensitive pieces of rotting flesh.......... who walk around masquerading as human beings. Her shameful, unsympathetic and boorish behavior will weigh heavily on her Karma. Beware of the force generated in this life! Keep up your excellent writing. ET

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A client of mine was reading the newspaper sitting on the bus, he is 57 and has Down syndrome, a woman, who was standing in front of him, told him "Oh dear boy! you can read!" he answered "I am just Down madame I am not stupid, please take my seat" and he stood up.
PS:I hope this english translation makes sense.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

You are right and that wouldn't be hard.

She didn't have anything nice to say so maybe she did the next best thing? Nah, I saw a dagger wedged in her stiletto heels.

Lame Shrill Owl,
Thanks for watching over my blog.

Political correctness isn't always progress. Mongoloid was changed to Down Syndrome too. Down Syndrome sounds like depression to me.

Now if you only knew the other person mentioned in the story.
You would be crying in both our milk.

great sidebar story. thanks for posting it. Sounds profound in English. Italian would only romanticize it.

6:57 PM  

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