Freudian Slips: Ticket To Ride

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

May 31, 2005

Ticket To Ride

At the age of eighteen, I lost a $10.00 bill on an Ocean City, New Jersey beach. All it means is that one snotty nosed kid treated himself to ice cream and free arcade games but I still haven't forgiven my carelessness. That was my ice cream and pinball games. With that being said, I know little about horse racing but I know a thing about irony to write this story. There is a governing rule of thumb in the horse racing industry that in order to make a small fortune start out with a large fortune. This isn't the case here.
Horse racing's golden event, the 2005 Kentucky Derby, enjoyed an unlikely finish. The break the bank payoff came after 50-1 long shot Giacomo raced to the second-biggest upset in Kentucky Derby history. Giacomo beat a 72-1 long shot named Closing Argument and local hero Afleet Alex, finished a disappointing third. Don't Get Mad finished fourth at 30-1. What does all this mean? Chris Hertzog, 39, of Phoenix Arizona, was one of only seven people in the country who picked the four horses in the order they finished. That is as good as it gets because the winning superfecta ticket paid out a resounding $864,253.50. Although he bucked astronomical odds, Herzog had one major problem. He lost the ticket to the horse race and it became a tail of whoa. Can anyone say cold sweat, hyperventilation, and life altering depression? It was a nightmare and I don't mean the breed of horse. He frantically retraced his steps at Turf Paradise in Louisville, Kentucky, an extensive search that did not spare trash cans and dumpsters. He called off the search after hours of painstaking looking. I doubt he saw much sleep that night.
The next day, a brutally honest mutual clerk named Brenda Reagan noticed the lost ticket lying next to her machine. She stepped forward after she realized she sold it but never gave him the paper ticket. The misplaced slip of paper was still sitting next to the machine where Hertzog had placed the wager the previous day. A slip up if you will for Freudian Slips. To my knowledge, the media never reported if a reward was given to the mutual clerk although it is hard to imagine otherwise. After all, this story cannot be told without properly honoring the mutual clerk. A lesser woman would have been, shall we say, off to the races! I started to think how much of a finder's fee I would have bestowed upon the mutual clerk if my exhilarating bear hugs didn't kill her first. I am throwing this one out to the readers. How much reward is due the mutual clerk? What is fair? What is just? If it were me, I would like to think I would reward her honesty in the amount of 25% or $156,00 after taxes. Then again, I have been called a miser who still owns his first penny. You make the call.



Blogger justrose said...

Wow, that is a generous reward! Hmmm... I guess it is fair.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People are prone to engage in lawsuits for the most innocuous reasons. I would bet $1.00 that the guy will turn around and sue her for causing him all of his discomfort. If she had done her job properly, he would never have gone through such agony. I say, "Sue the Bitch." ET

3:29 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

It is the thought that doesn't count.

This is out of character for you. Isn't interest off of a half million dollars enough right of way?

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Zelda Parker said...

Ten percent would be generous enough don't you think? He probably kept it all...

8:22 PM  
Anonymous zelda parker said...

No good deed goes unpunished!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

thanks for the tip of the day.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, you're right! It is out of character for me. The pollen count has me up a tree. Anyone who walks below my limbs, gets a swat. In this case, Brenda was no exception. I'll agree to charge her, but (not give her) $156,000. and will refrain from calling her any derogatory names. ET

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

25 Precert sounds really good. I would have sent a gift too. Like a Wide Screen TV. Emily

6:04 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

You are generous. Imagine the delivery charges on a big screen TV.

10:22 PM  

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