Freudian Slips: Stop and Smell the Silk Roses

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

May 22, 2005

Stop and Smell the Silk Roses

Extra, extra, read, all about it! UPS delivered four cartons of the second edition of my autobiography, Stop and Smell the Silk Roses this week. Any reader can tell from the hundreds of puns that I wrote this book cover to cover. The book is about deadly insect encounters, their interaction with my rare skin disease, and my unorthodox protection in a beekeeper's suit (see profile picture) until doctors figured out what in creation to do with me. The book description sounds like heavy reading but it is largely off-beat humor juxtaposed with near-death. There is something ironic about a man who sets out to write the story of his life and it winds up an unexpected comedy. I still don't know what to make of that one.
Life inside the suit produced comedic interactions from an infinity of strangers who confused me with every occupation under the sun. Looking back on my life it doesn't seem possible to have been confused with a dogcatcher, carnival worker, anthrax investigator, terrorist, fireman, bubble boy, exterminator, a chef, penguin feeder, part of a Candid Camera joke, Department of Health worker, World Trade Center cleanup worker, gardener, mascot for Canadian Maple Syrup, Haz-Mat worker, Ralph Nader activist, astronaut, butcher, and Mosquito Control Commission worker to name a few. I was once mistaken for a World Trade Center cleanup worker the same day I was frisked by police who suspected me of being a terrorist! I couldn't have been both and yet I was neither.
It is the story of an ordinary man, whose medical condition forced him into a life of extremes. It chronicles a man who got stung by a bee and wound up in a museum, in a comic strip, and on TV. It's one man's journey of self-discovery through mistaken identity. It is about a life given welcome pause and an opportunity to awaken to stop and smell the roses.
I need to reclaim my garage so if anyone wants a book chock full of irony and humor, send me an email at . $11.99 gets you an autographed copy mailed to you. My friend Joe Heller said it best, "You can search The Library of Congress and not find a book like this." You got to love paid constituents!



Blogger PaxRomano said...

I can't wait to see the Broadway adaptation; "Stung!". With words and music by Sir Andrew Loyd Webber.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Tony said...

OOH! I want a copy!!!!

Very cool!


10:41 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I want to write the original score. I am thinking of something between Ordinary People Extraordinary Disease and Chariots of Venom in a C major.

Shy Guy,
Thanks for your patronage. And now a word from our sponsor - Calomine Lotion.

7:48 AM  
Blogger the Contrary Goddess said...

I saw an anti-insect suit the other day and thought of you. Much lighter it was than a full bee suit, and all mesh. Perhaps that's better than thinking of you when I slop the hog?

Congrats on getting the books! And being in 2nd edition!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Lost said...

We're talking american cash here right? LOL

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


4:08 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

With words by JT, and the music of ALWebber it is bound to be a smashing success. Prepare to have you name in lights on Broadway! Paxie,JH and I want front row seats for opening night! Are bees attracted to the lights?

2:00 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

For Canadian readers I apologize for the lack of monetary conversion. Yes, that is $11.99 US dollars, if interested.

Contrary Goddess,
To be thought of when viewing insects beats the slopping the hog reminder.

I will have your book for you on Friday when I see you. After the Broadway show, am I taking everyone to dinner on the Red Square?

7:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Red Square can be our version of the Algonguin Hotel round table discussions. We'll have the famous, near famous, aspiring writers and the critics. I'm afraid that's what my frend Ms. Parker does when shes had one too many Martini's!!! Ask Saul for more details.
Sylvia Feinstein

7:49 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Welcome to the blog...I think?

7:56 PM  

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