Life Comes at You in Waves

Jennifer Aniston

The scene of the embarrassing incident occured on the set of The Bounty Hunter. I reacted like any warm-blooded man would have done placed in the same awkward situation. It meant less to her than it did me. It involved nothing more than a wave back, a long distance greeting with a celebrity you cannot get closer to without risking unemployment as an actor or arrest.

Let me set the scene within a scene. I am standing on my first mark at the bottom of the escalators underneath the Taj Majal’s signature chandeliers. The crew is methodically preparing the environment. It is the first take on the second day of this scene, which involves the two principle actors, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, bantering down the escalators.

An unusual thing happened. Jennifer Aniston waved my way after boarding the escalator. A sight to behold, she was looking my way and smiling charismatically. Even more impressively, nobody stood in between us. I had only clear sightlines of a sultry Jennifer Aniston dressed provocatively in a grey skirt and clingy low cut top. She had me.

I felt pints of blood rush through my body. I remained levelheaded while I quickly thought to myself. Aniston must recognize me from working together the day before. Our fleet relationship had spun all the way out of control to acquaintances. Judging social protocol, Aniston and Tornatore were a conversation from being friends. I raised my hand and gave a stiff armed wave back. Ah, therein lies the shame of it all. My wave showed the lack of confidence of a George Costanza, undeserving of the recipients time of day or acknowledgement.

After waving back to Aniston, hundreds of fans held precariously behind yellow caution tape and security guards erupted in enthusiastic applause. I had mentally blocked out this crowd to eliminate any performance anxiety. The screams and catcalls to Aniston flooded my consciousness. On Aniston’s continued ride up the escalator, I could not have appeared much smaller. Aniston cocked her head to the side. She gave me a smirk like… you silly middle-aged overweight man, you thought I was waving at you. Life comes at you in waves. I would do it again in a fast heartbeat.