Freudian Slips: Death Wish in the Driveway

Freudian SlipsImage Hosted by


My Photo
Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 03, 2009

Death Wish in the Driveway

As I put my car in reverse, I hear thump, thump, thump. Curse words erupt from my leather cockpit because this was the definitive sound of a major flat tire. I sling myself out of my God-forsaken car, fully expecting the worse in the indignity of my own driveway. I circle the vehicle. Curiously, the air pressure in each of my tires looks more than adequate.
I get back into my car and try again. The same repetitive thump follows me halfway down the driveway. Exiting the car, I check inside my trunk for something rolling around. Everything seems secure. At my wit's end, I literally stand around my vehicle while scratching my head.
Not knowing what else to do, I get back into my car. This time I reverse faster than normal while dismissing the lunacy of expecting a different outcome at a higher rate of speed. Thump, thump, thump. I put my cursing aside after concluding with a gulp in my throat that I have repeatedly run over a defenseless toddler. Manslaughter charges run rampant through my active imagination, one that comes complete with the soundbite of a Judge's gavel.
I lay down in the driveway where I literally shimmy underneath my car. As I lay on my back staring at the empty undercarriage, an adult possum jumps from my wheel well overtop my prone body. Claws and fur fly in slow motion over my defenseless body before I catch another glimpse of him scampering away through a brush thicket.
The possum had been running atop my moving tire like a personal treadmill. This possum wasn’t playing dead. Nope, this one had a death wish. It is not everyday you wheely come across an endangered species.



Blogger Shoebee said...


7:16 PM  
Blogger mommanator said...

arent ya glad it didnt have a white stripe!

9:59 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I was in the driveway. There are only white stripes in the road. lol seriously, point well taken.

5:33 PM  
Anonymous cousin in tennesee said...

Dems good eetin!

6:14 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

cousin in tennesee,
Dems might be good eetin but what about republicans?

11:01 PM  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

Too Funny! My husband and I both laughed out loud.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Glad to make you both laugh......

10:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Image Hosting at