Freudian Slips: Pedigree of Pets

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

January 13, 2008

Pedigree of Pets

What happens when a pet loving developmentally disabled Star Wars fan meets two identical looking Chihuahua dogs at a red light? The two vehicles idled next to one another never expecting what would follow.

Connell, a mildly retarded man, took advantage of his sudden perch in the passenger seat. It was rare that his mother let him sit in the front seat of the car. Since his hip replacement surgery though, it was easier for Connell to transfer from the front seat.
From his co-pilots seat, Connell pushed his electric window down. It took four shouts before the driver of the next car heard him. The well-dressed driver in the convertible acted annoyed at having to lower the radio volume then her window. Connell’s mother quickly picked up her negative vibrations but she was more concerned with what business her son was taking up in another vehicle.
“What are the dog’s names?” repeated Connell.
The lady answered, “Luke and Leia.”
Connell processed the information, removed his seatbelt, and left the car. His mother became hysterical. The other driver went from annoyed to alarmed.
His mother shouted, “Connell come back! Get back in the car.”
“Wait a minute, mom.” said Connell cool as a chilled cucumber. “I always wanted to do this.”
A scene unfolded at the red light. Connell’s artificial hip scissored his way to the convertible. The force was with him. The dogs yapped and scooted closer to their owner. The lady recoiled and her fur coat almost got up and ran away. In his excitement, Connell began excitedly slobbering more than the dogs at this point.
Connell sweated the details. “Which one is Luke?”
The lady clutched her miniature dogs with one hand and pointed to Luke with the other. Connell’s effeminate high-pitched squeal lowered octaves to master his impersonation of Anikan Skywalker.
“Luke….he said to the dog. “I am your father.”

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe, true or not, this story has to be one of your best!!!

Great writing!

9:33 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Love it, after reading Chickens post made me start to laugh again! You gotta love the developmentally disables!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Evil Chicken said...

The Force is STRONG with this one.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
thanks for the complimentary skepticism. lol

mommanator,
you just have to live off of our stories now.

evil,
20,000 meglaclorians last count.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous Missy said...

Joe,
OMG! This is the best FS! I laughed so loud that my better half thought someone was killing me on the 2 floor. You slay me with your wit.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

missy,
You are too easy to please.

5:45 PM  

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