Freudian Slips: Bobcat Sighting

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

January 06, 2008

Bobcat Sighting

This is a circa 1980 picture of my first car, a 1979 Mercury Bobcat. The v4 engine of the Bobcat could out race any long distance jogger. The white color attracted flying insects, dirt, and dollups of road tar. A festive bright red interior made occupants want to sing lung-emptying Christmas carols. On the road, it swallowed motor oil by the case and eventually seized the advertised removeable dipstick to the engine block. The accidental upheaval from one of my drinking binges left a permanent odor that made driving conditions unbearable in temperatures over 80 degrees. While parked, it got hit by a car then a motorcycle but those accidents did not put it out of its misery. As this car was given to me by my parents, I returned the favor and gave it to my younger brother.
I got to thinking about this Slobcat, as it was nicknamed, just the other day. You know, my brother has yet to thank me for my charitable donation.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

First car 67 Chevy Impala- $600.00
Price of gas- .64 per gal.
Insurance- $400.00
Pine tree air freshner- .35
Two months of accident free driving

11:26 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

This story really needed BRANCHING out. thanks.

7:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah this is something I didnt know about you, I thought that supped up Camero that you tried to seduce me in on a daily basis was your first car.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

The Camaro was the first car that I bought myself. And a single rose make not the art of seduction.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeh, yeh, keep telling yourself that. You shamelssly flirted until those small TRIS walls blushed

7:42 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I have narrowed you down to only one of fourteen different suitors. Were you the nubian blonde woman whose father would not pay the dowry? Please reveal your identity.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm the one that is the complete package

6:26 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

It sounds like this PACKAGE is WRAPPED up in herself.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Crimp said...

Joe - the rest of the Bobcat story ....

I was wondering just the other day how our mutual younger brother came to be the owner of your first set of wheels - and, for the life of me, I couldn't remember, or put together a scenario that made any logical sense - or, should I say "cents", given the fact that you gifted him with the car.

You might remember that not too many years after gifting away the car, that same bobcat morphed into what you and I jokingly referred to as the "Igloo" - because, whether winter or summer, its white-domed symmetry could be found parked (some might say abandoned) in front of the Washington Twp. homestead. Only the snow plow guy knew for sure its exact location between the months of late December and early March.

I eventually came to be the owner of the bobcat - not through the generous gifting of one brother to another, but for the tidy sum of $150. And, in the space of about 4 days, plus the time it took to hang an air freshener and purchase and expend the contents of one can of white enamel spray paint, I managed to sell the car to a TRIS co-worker for $350 down plus 4 easy installments of $100. In 1980's currency, that was a whopper of a deal. After paying me a total of $450, said co-worker asked if I could do him a favor and take the car back (and yes - I got to keep all the money and the kicking stereo he had installed a week earlier). Naturally, I was able to help him out.

From there, the car slipped through my capitalistic hands, ultimately finding a new home (by final gift by yours truly), in the garage of one of mom's nameless and faceless "improve mankind one person at a time" projects. But, not before I removed the stereo and every bit of loose change I could find pressed behind the seats (oh, and I took the roadmaps, too -- roadmaps? -- they were old school GPS devices).

9:52 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Not to mentin that you went on to become the best restaurant mystery shopper in America.

12:41 AM  
Anonymous T said...

Thanks...Now let it go.

PS A Pinto of any other name will still explode when rear ended.

2:19 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I think I have a picture of you and Big Greg working on this car in the driveway.

6:41 PM  

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