Freudian Slips: My Impotence Precedes Me

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

January 03, 2008

My Impotence Precedes Me

Luigi Al Denti's cataract eyes issued me a surreal P.T. Barnum stare. “I know I haven’t been always truthful with you in the past. I don’t blame you for not believing me but I gotta tell you somepun about my vacation down the seashore.”
I fretted, “Tell me that you didn’t get into trouble with the law while on vacation.”
“Not this time. I may as well just say it. Joe, you are in the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum.”
“I certainly am an exhibit in the Ripley’s museum in Atlantic City.” We gained each others full attention. I asked, “Now if I can pick your brain, what the heck did you think when you saw my statue?”
Luigi tugged on the plastic tubing line of his portable oxygen unit for no apparent reason. As he searched for the right words, my ears bent to the steady oxygen bursts into his nasal passages. A place on his face begged for my pardon before continuing.
“Ugh, forget about me for a minute.” he dismissed. “There were visitors in your chamber over by the well that the poor girl fell down. They were saying mighty cruel things about you wearing a beekeeper’s costume.”
I winced at the expected turn of events. “Did it remind you of how some ignorant people have treated your handicap in public?”
“Yeppers.” Luigi replied agreeably. “That is why I stuck up for you. I told them folks that didn’t know better a thing or two. I said that I know you. I said you can say what you want about the guy but he is an impotent person. Joe Torn is a social worker for the retarded. They all just stared at me for the longest time. I sure shut them up.”
Joe Tornatore in leaner times

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10 Comments:

Anonymous et said...

Ignorance is bliss....
Perception rules our reality!

Nice story!

6:15 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

et,
Too bad I know better.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Giddy up!

11:40 PM  
Blogger mommanator said...

hey JT you have gotten over the bee thing so I am sure you can handle a lillte impotence!

10:03 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
stop horsing aorund.

mommanator,
Would you believe the day after posting this headline a friend, who swears he is a non-reader of this blog, gave me free samples of Cialis!!!!

6:34 PM  
Anonymous et said...

Mommanator, your comments are too funny! LOL

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe,

If you are going to bee impotent, you should dress impotent.

Mike

1:28 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
...or risk CONDEMnation?

7:52 PM  
Anonymous Missy said...

Joe, how well they know you!?
Bee Well and Stay Up!

5:31 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Missy,
Putting this in the things you never expect to hear at your day job category.

5:47 PM  

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