Freudian Slips: Cry Foul

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

July 26, 2007

Cry Foul

May 1, 2004 Citizens Bank Park Section 138

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

A father speaks takes his non-sports minded daughter at a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game.
Inside the ballpark, I conjure nostalgic field of dream memories amidst twilight’s postcard sky. “You know, all of my years coming to the ball park, I have never caught a foul ball. Not one. Not even close. It remains a dream that dates back to my childhood.”
Rachel and I hit the concession stand. Because there were no ketchup packets available at the new multi-million dollar ballpark, a condiment station returned the favor by pumping ketchup at the rate of one quart a second into my corrugated cardboard tray full of exorbitantly priced greasy fast food. Rachel and I sit down in our assigned seats. We grace our laps with dueling cardboard food trays screaming of calories. All is right with the world.
Alex Cintron of the Arizona Diamondbacks settles into the batter’s box. The light hitting infielder swings awkwardly at a high pitch. The ball sails foul down the left field line. I crook my neck and find the spinning ball hurdling towards our section. It draws closer, earning my standing ovation. I remember the food in my lap but I cannot help myself. Cheese steak and French fries fly from their cardboard holding tank.
Settled into the seat next to me, my daughter never moved, winced, or broke stride from eating her finger-licking-good chicken fingers. Meanwhile, I jump over the empty seats in front of me. The ball takes a wicked first hop in the aisle before I bare hand it. I am overjoyed and celebrate in the revelry.
My daughter takes one good look at me and patently rolls her eyes like any other unimpressed teenager. My clothes are covered in ketchup splatter. My shirt has a small rip. Off of the sweaty concrete, I peel my cheese steak sandwich that looks as though it has been rolled in a batter of grime. I realize that the plastic faceplate of my cell phone is crumpled broken. My daughter senses the collateral damage and smirks.
Her sarcasm precedes only the next bite into her chicken fingers. “All those years, now was it really worth it, Dad?”

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Caherine Mary said...

Rachel, It was totally worth it. You can always buy an new shirt, more food, and a new cell phone. BUT... you can't always catch a foul ball while watching your favorite team.

2:40 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

I remember my fist time at a ball game. My Dad played on one of those comunitty teams where we lived. When he gave up the game I inherited that Blue and gold T-shirt which I wore till it was ratty with holes. Don't remember who won the game, but Dad was great! He was an above average athlete, which none of us seemed to inherit....

8:57 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Out of the mouths of babes, but dad it was worth it. So is that when you injured your leg!
That ball looks so small!- the things folks will do for a bit of history!

9:24 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

LOL. Adorable story. I haven't been to a game yet this season. Gotta get to one! I love pigging out at them while I cheer!

1:06 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

catherine mary,
Some things in life only come around once like the Phillies Homerun Payoff inning. Sorry you struckout with that one.

zelda,
baseball conjurs up so many memories that overlap with family.

mommanator,
no, I hurt my leg playing basketball with too much beer in me at a family reunion. lessons of life.

jessica,
I am going tomorrow night. Can't wait. I am surprised you haven't been to a game this season.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Food for Thought!

6:20 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
I had a ball though. lol

4:47 AM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

i just go for the beer and the b..... well u know

1:38 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

honk,
next time have a ball. te-he.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous marcus said...

Hey...I have wanted to do the same since I was a child. Still waiting, and the hole in one, winning the lottery....

7:08 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

marcus,
Friday night you have your chance.

9:55 PM  

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