Freudian Slips: The Tooth, The Whole Tooth

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

April 13, 2006

The Tooth, The Whole Tooth

While driving to have our taxes prepared by our personal accountant, my wife and I agreed that the arduous process amounts to having a tooth extracted. It was imagined pain worthy of only the analogy and the task before us. Thirty minutes into the audit, our accountant got sidetracked from line item deductions. Once she reached for her mouth, I knew it was all over. She dove into a four minute soliloquy about having a tooth pulled. I slumped lower in my chair and sat there in unaccountable disbelief. I thought to myself, how do you think we feel? She had no idea. I cringed listening to her detailed explanation about the bloody procedure. She rambled on about the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. I never once thought about The Daniel Blume Award for Excellence in Reporting. This was no longer imagined pain. Achingly so, this was the real McCoy.

Having our finances scrutinized for tax preparation is a lot like a bad trip to the dentist. But when your own accountant complains about a tooth pull too, it reminds me that at least my dentist gives anesthesia.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Kieran said...

Is it true that people in the US think people in the UK have bad teeth? We do have bad accountants, I can vouch for that.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Cute/sickening story, Joe.

I like your Flikr photos, too.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

kieran,
never heard that rumor. I thought you had bad accountants. just kidding.

jessica,
thanks for visiting. I got to update those photos one of these days.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Ugh. Taxes. I'll just bet you were chomping at the bit the whole time your accountant described her experience. Well, at least you have one who likes to chew the fat while doing your taxes. Mine just sits there pounding the calculator in total silence; kinda makes the whole event rather numbing.

:o

3:48 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Weary,
Wanna trade?

7:52 PM  

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