Freudian Slips: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

February 03, 2005

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser

Has anyone used this Mr. Clean Magic Eraser product yet? This gizmo is one miracle away from being ordained a saint. This product must be made of biodegradable foam engineered by space aliens on a mission to clean up planet earth. It is revolutionary, the David Copperfield of housecleaning. I kid you not. It is an applicator pad that cleans without any solvent. You just add a little water and poof! You don’t even need elbow grease. A little palm rub and you live in a sterilized sanitarium. Assuming the risk of sounding domesticated here, I wouldn’t be spouting at the mouth over a cleaning product if this thing didn’t check out. It removes fingerprints, scuff marks, soap scum, pond scum, grime, slime, ink in no time, chalk lines from crime scenes, virtually everything left behind but the body. You name it, Magic Eraser tames it. If Magic Eraser were around in the 1970’s it might have cost Alice on the Brady Bunch her housekeeper job but saved eccentric Howard Hughes some pathology. This product can remove everything but sin. The following is an unpaid testimonial. While I was going gangbuster’s cleaning the walls of our open foyer, my wife came home. She told me she was in a scratch and dent automobile mishap. I had Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in my hand when I walked outside to assess the damage. Scraped across the side panels of her middle of life soccer mom minivan, was white paint from another car. I dragged Magic Eraser down the side of the minivan and viola! It disappeared! Not the minivan silly, just the white paint. Bada Nada Ding! I could have my own auto body shop up and running in 24 hours with a pallet of these babies. Why didn’t they have this product when I was in high school. That C grade in Trigonometry which tarnished my report card would have been gone before Alice Cooper could sing No More School for Summer. I would have wiped mediocrity from my school transcript with a finger flick of the Magic Eraser. Only negative is the advertising. Comes with 4 disposable cleaning pads. What they mean is it comes with 4 dissolvable cleaning pads. Nothing goes in the trash. Anything that can clean while it dissolves has my allegiance. A smirking chimp with a banana in one hand could use this product. Try it. Better yet, try Magic Eraser yourself. Forget about handing it to a chimp.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Based on your recommendations, I'm going right out and buy these miracle wipes. They seem too good to be true!!! If by chance they don't work as you describe, I'm going to beat you with a wet noodle. Post by ET

9:09 AM  
Blogger PaxRomano said...

I have used these babies, they are a frickin' miracle!!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Try the Magic Eraser on your developed pictures. See if it removes ghastly orbs.

Wet noodle, huh? Try not to leave your pasta boiling in the pot so long.

8:00 PM  

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