Freudian Slips: The Birdman and The Bee Man

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

February 01, 2005

The Birdman and The Bee Man

On February 1, 2005 the Gloucester County Times ran a feature article on me in their People Section, a section devoted to the Movers and Shakers of Gloucester County. While this article may create a buzz, I assure you I paid the reporter not a dime to describe my story as "legend." When the reporter pulled up to my house, I was carrying in a copy of his employer's competitor, the Courier Post. The Courier put me in their paper the same day the Times came out to do a different story. I am on no world tour but I have surely exceeded fifteen minutes of fame. The ink hadn’t dried on one story as I was granting an interview for the next. If you think that is ironic, pull up a chair for this. While the reporter and I sat chatting in my living room, the photographer assigned to my story called to say I was scooped because he was trying to get an action shot of a bank heist in progress. He would be late. True crime always seizes the headlines. My bizarre tale of disease, rescue, and notoriety kept the reporter's attention at least. During a lull in the conversation, the reporter chagrined. He admitted that today seemed a little peculiar for him as a reporter. “In what way?” I asked the reporter, coyly turning the tables. “I only have two assignments today. Quite frankly, I am having trouble separating your stories in my mind.” “What do you mean, isn’t it a given that my story is an unusual one?” The reporter inched forward on my couch. His speech slowed to a deliberating pace. “I am covering you - Joe from Ripley’s who is known as the Bee Man. I am also covering a Philadelphia Eagles fan named Joe Ripley known as the Birdman!” I have been centerstage to irony in my life, but this left me incredulous. “Are you kidding me?” “No, I'm totally serious." the reporter relented. "You see, that is why I’m trying not to cross-contaminate your stories.” We both laughed out loud. Once I caught my breath, a triple entendre followed. “That would be like putting the buzz in buzzard.” Holy birds of a feather flock together, Batman! I suppose the Gloucester County Times decided this eerie coincidence needed more enumeration than a guffaw in my living room. They layed out an entire page of us. Top fold, Joe Ripley The Birdman and bottom fold Joe from Ripley’s the Bee Man. It is a Ripley’s Believe It or Not story coming to life. It gets even weirder. The Courier Post story covered me being a rabid Eagles fan (see posting Super Bowl XXXIX) calling me South Jersey’s Super Fan. The Gloucester County Times labeled The Birdman….drum roll please….Super Fan.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is getting a wee bit embarrassing to say the least. Two papers in less than a week!!! Though I must say, you are very photogenic. Post by ET

3:56 PM  
Blogger HoneybeeMissy said...

Joe YOU ROCK!!!!

11:56 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

In an article about The Bee Man is it necessary to respond to a posting by the likes or HoneybeeMissy? Come on, the ironies are freaking me out here. Anyway, Honeybee you might think I rock but I maybe just on a roll. yuk. yuk.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous BirdMom said...

Joe Ripley is the best! He is in the Hall of Fans! Not juszensskt a maybe!!! And I'm his Mom, I know first hand!!!!!BirdMom!!P.S. Who thought up the name BeeMan, anyway? Do you see a bee having anything to do with an Eagle? Consider the HoneybeeMissy? Must be a relation!

5:25 PM  

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