Punk'd by the Locomotive Called Ego

The other day I punk’d myself and I am not too ashamed to admit it. Although it has taken me a couple of days to sit down and write about it, it is actually hilarious when I think about it now. After all, the locomotive called ego sometimes needs derailment. Allow me to digress to setup the punk’d scene. In the last few months, I have spoken with numerous people in the media from newspaper reporters, to cartoonists, to book publishers, to museum curators. My life teeters on the brink of the lifestyles of the not rich but infamous.

On the way home from work, I noticed a long distance number logged into my unmanned cell phone. I did not recognize the number of whomever had called me. I thought nothing of it until I got home from work and heard the phone ringing. I answer.

“This is Sony Pictures. I have been instructed to ask for your fax number to send you a contract immediately.”

“A contract? Oh my God!” I regained my composure but only for a moment. “Who is this really?”

“This is Mr. Smitterling’s secretary, the Vice President of Something or Other with Sony Pictures.”

“Okay okay. I love Sony Pictures! My fax number is my phone number. I’m going to have to get off the phone for you to fax that over. It’s the same phone line.” I am talking a mile a minute at this point.

She adds, “Okay, after we hang up, I’ll send you the terms and conditions.”

“What am I agreeing to? What do you have in mind?” Thank God I didn’t say it outloud but I’m thinking full length motion picture if not mini-series. My voice began to cackle. The last time nerves compromised my voice quality was while filming for the TV show Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

The secretary’s voice assumed an uninviting tone when she explained, “It’s not what you are agreeing to it’s what Sony has agreed to.”

Yikes! That is when I remembered sending Sony Pictures correspondence a week ago. I asked for non-exclusive reprint rights to what in show business they call a “screen grab” of my appearance on Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Sony was getting back to me. I had completely lost sight of the fact that Sony Pictures is the parent company of Ripley’s. Dang, I was heading over to make-up and wardrobe when I realized I had punk’d myself! Chug-a-lug-a-choo-choo.