Summer Survival Tips for the Northeast
- Seasonal Affective Disorder has been extended until further notice.
- Stop tracking weather forecasts. Every day is contrastingly dreary.
- Cancel scheduled vacation time from work until August.
- If you are hosting an outdoor event, rent a tent or canopy to pamper your guests.
- If you see the sunshine, drop to both knees and worship it because it won't last long.
- In the even of continued overcast benefited by the absence of rain, start mowing your overgrown lawn. Chances are it is almost one foot high.
- If you have yet to turn on your underground sprinklers as a homeowner, you might not need to.
- Do not replace your solar powered landscape lighting. The gizmos will eventually jump start the first nightfall after the return of the sun.
- If you were considering joining a water park this summer, it may be coming to you.
- If your tomato plants are not water rotted, register your magic garden in the next Farmer’s Almanac.
- If you are a shoobie vacationing at the shore, the word “sucker’ now appears on your purchased beach tags.
- Along with a $10..00 non-refundable deposit, reservations are now being taken for new windshield wiper blades at your local autmotive parts store.
- Mostly cloudy is now considered an awesome forecast.
- Dollar Store umbrellas are not made to work for thirteen straight days.
- For you sun worshippers, SBF 3 sun tan lotion may be enough UV ray protection.
- If you ever ruled out moving to Seattle because of their wet weather, now is the best time to change your mind.
Labels: current events