Freudian Slips: A Shot in the Dark

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

March 19, 2009

A Shot in the Dark

Getting hurt at work is no laughing matter but this outtake from my telephone conversation is a golden gem .

This is Joe.

Hello, I’m Olga Sizemore your Personal Care Manager. You will be happy to know, we just setup physical therapy for you. You will be starting physical therapy.

Physical therapy? I haven’t seen a doctor yet…

Hear me out…You go to physical therapy…see what they can do for you.

Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?

What do you mean?

I need a medical evaluation first.

We have been through this before..

What do you mean like 10 seconds ago?

I know what you’re thinking?

Trust me. You have no idea what I am thinking.

I have a doctor’s appointment set-up..

Thank you. Now we are getting somewhere.

Bear with me. We want you to start physical therapy first.

I don’t think that is protocol anymore than its prudent.

Joe, grab a pen. I’m going to give you…

You’re going to give me agita.

I am trying to give you the name of the specialist you will see afterwards. That is what you wanted, right?

I wanted a specialist not a taskmaster physical therapist.

(Papers ruffling)…I made an appointment for you in Tinton Falls, NJ on.

Tinton Falls? Isn’t that like 75 miles one way?

I personally looked into your case. It can’t be that far.

(Flabbergasted)But Tinton Falls? Why Tinton Falls? What's in Tinton Falls?

It’s just where the doctor is that I want you to see. Hey, it’s right near where we are sending you for physical therapy.

That doesn’t make me feel any better. How long have you been a personal care manager, I got to know?

I spoke with their office. Joe, they’re going to give you an epidural in your ankle…If the pain doesn’t subside…

Let me get this straight…You want me to forgo a medical evaluation, take physical therapy for my pain, then get an epidural. I got to tell you I am not comfortable with this. I’m not even sure I can get an epidural shot with my rare disease.

Mr. Grabekowitz, you always give me a hard time.

Dead silence follows.

Mr. Grabekowitz…Hello? Mr Joseph Grabekowitz of Apple Jack Lane in Scobeyville? Hello? Joe?

This is Joe, all right. ...Joseph Tornatore.

Wrong file.

Obviously.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Pax Romano said...

I am laughing through my tears ... or maybe the tears are from laughter.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Pax,
Even the name Scobeyville makes me chuckle.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous et said...

What the ..@@! Are you serious? If you are, this is down right scary! I just love the way some medical staff use their condescending tone of voice and mannerisms to convince you that they know best.

11:34 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

yikes thats scary!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

et,
i had trouble containing myself.

mommanator,
You need to be my charge nurse.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

Our health care sure has stepped down a notch. I had to stay on the scheduling agency to get an MRI approved and scheduled, then I was billed for the MRI (yikes!) and had to straighten that out. Being sick can make you sick.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

merci,
Consumer beware.

12:41 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Precious. I always try to compare my woes with those of others. I was starting to think "Oh, maybe Joe has Plantar's facitis too!" then "Oh maybe Joe is considering having bone spurs removed" ... then I saw it was a wrong file!

Sorry you were hurt at work.

Sooo wonderful to hear/see you again.

You're like my ginsu knife; sharp as ever!

10:29 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

weary,
nice hearing from you...

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Marcus said...

Funny, And be happy that it didn't have to do with them billing you for something. imagine having the same genious toying with your money.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Marcus,
What would have been left of me might not have been able to cut a check. lol

7:46 PM  

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