Freudian Slips: Laying Down the Law

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

March 13, 2008

Laying Down the Law

Ever since my locker was broken into at the gym last year, I keep my valuables in the car and have been working out with my keys kept in my possession at all times. It seemed a foolproof way to stay safe and keep my new car from being stolen.

The keyring lump in my shorts has its disadvantages. I often have to reposition my car keys during stretching exercises on a floor mat and situps on a bench to avoid discomfort. No big deal. In the last few weeks, I have incurred some minor setbacks.

By definiton, technology is suppose to make it harder for criminals to operate. I have come to learn that protecting my gym locker from break-in by hoarding my keys can mean making my car accessible. While Seinfeld's George Castanza would marvel at some of the close parking spots I am stealing at the gym lately, the untold story is that I am triggering my deft transponder during exercise and thereby popping the car door locks and trunk.

While my locker full of 1980's garb has never been safer on a continuim, all of the thieves are canvassing the parking lot waiting for me just to roll on my stomach and lay down the law.



Anonymous et said...

I think you've been over working the dumbbells! LOL

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not that my "more to love" body has seen a gym in almost a year, but the last time i was there, they had hooks on the wall to hang key rings, i cant believe the state of the art ballys doesnt have the same...btw, havent seen you at dinner for a few weeks, hope you will make an appearance on sunday for ericas 14th bday dinner...chicken marsela is on the still laughing about the baby mama blog

9:25 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

nice play on words.

I just ate at the Corral the other day. No rich storyline though.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous The Next Mark Wahlberg said...

Lol.......Also I think you can make a story out of anything, not sure if that's good or bad, probably good though. Lol.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

the next mark,
I can make a story out of you being the next mark wahlberg. send me a few lines and I'll spin it.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll meet you in the parking lot!

12:24 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

if there is anything left. lol

6:52 PM  

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