Act Accordingly

"We're all on our way out. Act accordingly.”

-Jack Nicholson’s character in The Departed.

I lost my first lead role as an actor due to my selection as a Camden County Superior Court juror for a criminal trial. Nevertheless and without regrets, there is nothing as eye opening an experience as serving as a juror then having that honor dethroned by being held up on the city streets of Camden.

Walking alone to a greasy spoon for lunch may have been my first mistake but the snaking line at the hot dog cart stretched like concertgoers waiting for tickets to go on sale. Across the street from the courthouse, a straggly man canvassed the Commerce bank parking lot. I tried to walk by him but I must have looked like an easy mark. He approached me using a line about not giving him respect while flailing a salutation that may have been gang related.

The man demanded, “Forget the respect. I am going to need your money.”

Now I have forever told myself to hand over my valuables without a fuss, if ever robbed. Inexplicably, I stopped in my tracks and did nothing of the sort for no good reason.

I growled, “You demand respect then my money? You better get the f$&k out of my face before I rub your tattoos off on this sidewalk.”

His tough guy demeanor disappeared. He slouched, kind of like Gumby left out in the cold rain. As I walked away, I took one peek over my shoulder to see if the would-be robber was charging me.

He only whined in his tracks. “Ah man, why do you got to do me like that? Why do you got to be that way?”

On my way back to the safety of my juror’s box, I thought of the irony of doing my civic duty and coming within a frankfurter of being the victim of a crime myself. I did a convincing job acting even though relegated to being a juror with only lost acting wages. How do I know my acting was par excellence? Well, I was scared to death!