Freudian Slips: Act Accordingly

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 24, 2007

Act Accordingly

"We're all on our way out. Act accordingly.”
-Jack Nicholson’s character in The Departed.
I lost my first lead role as an actor due to my selection as a Camden County Superior Court juror for a criminal trial. Nevertheless and without regrets, there is nothing as eye opening an experience as serving as a juror then having that honor dethroned by being held up on the city streets of Camden.
Walking alone to a greasy spoon for lunch may have been my first mistake but the snaking line at the hot dog cart stretched like concertgoers waiting for tickets to go on sale. Across the street from the courthouse, a straggly man canvassed the Commerce bank parking lot. I tried to walk by him but I must have looked like an easy mark. He approached me using a line about not giving him respect while flailing a salutation that may have been gang related.
The man demanded, “Forget the respect. I am going to need your money.”
Now I have forever told myself to hand over my valuables without a fuss, if ever robbed. Inexplicably, I stopped in my tracks and did nothing of the sort for no good reason.
I growled, “You demand respect then my money? You better get the f$&k out of my face before I rub your tattoos off on this sidewalk.”
His tough guy demeanor disappeared. He slouched, kind of like Gumby left out in the cold rain. As I walked away, I took one peek over my shoulder to see if the would-be robber was charging me.
He only whined in his tracks. “Ah man, why do you got to do me like that? Why do you got to be that way?”
On my way back to the safety of my juror’s box, I thought of the irony of doing my civic duty and coming within a frankfurter of being the victim of a crime myself. I did a convincing job acting even though relegated to being a juror with only lost acting wages. How do I know my acting was par excellence? Well, I was scared to death!

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13 Comments:

Anonymous the vault said...

act accordingly? in camden, that means staying as close to the courthouse as possible, even if that means a long line at the hot dog stand! don't get me wrong, no excuses for that pathetic character that barked up the wrong tree! sorry about your lost acting gig. you've got come up with a good excuse to get out of jury duty.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

vault,
maybe I will have to follow your LEAD. te-he.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Sounds like a scene from a movie. I loved the tattoo line. You're brave & crazy for saying that!
Hope you get a new lead soon!
Jury duty, too much sitting still for me.

8:04 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I was in Camden yesterday, btw.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt afraid for you!!!!

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

I bet you were wearing that sign with scotch tape on your back again. You know that can lead to misinterpretation. Well, you got to act anyway, even if it was for a few minutes.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

jessica,
I would have given you my money, Jess. What were you doing in Camden?

anonymous,
If this is the guy that tried to hold me up, I didn't know you could read.

jennifer,
There are signs everywhere, you just have to look.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

The aquarium, Joe. Took the ferry over for the day. Was fun!

9:58 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

jessica,
Sounds fishy but I am not in a positon to not believe you. ha-ha.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

some will do just about anything to get a day out of the office...

12:31 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Zelda,
Is the robbery of a case manager a UIR?

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Maverick said...

well,i just have a little correction.jack nicholson's character said,"we're all on our way out.Act accordingly."

10:14 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

maverick,
i must write accordingly. will change it now. thanks for the pickup.

12:22 PM  

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