Freudian Slips: Head Over Heels

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

December 07, 2006

Head Over Heels

There was nothing better than putting in a good day’s work as a paperboy. Throwing that last folded newspaper from my carry bag onto a covered porch was a feeling of accomplishment. All of about fourteen years of plenty, I pedaled into the proud sunshine one afternoon after my run. Riding my bicycle with no hands, I started to twirl my empty denim carry bag over my head. It made a cool helicopter blade noise that occupied my adolescent attention. Not satisfied with life unfurling in the moment, I increased the speed of my bike. Catching the varied directions of the wind, I spun that bag in every direction with my free hands. That is until the bag wedged between my bicycle spokes and I felt a violent jar. In essence, I inadvertently slammed on the brakes at 15 mph. I actually left my bike behind me as I dove overtop of my handlebars damn near in front of the house of a hot-blooded Italian girl who caught my fancy. I traveled such a great distance in the air that I actually had time to ponder my cruel landing or wave tragically to the girl I was smitten with. Flying headfirst without the safeguard of a helmet, I had little choice but to land on my arms and elbows. I slid harshly across the blacktop and the road ate my flesh with hardcore efficiency. I laid prone, a bloody mess with gravel touching bone.

When you are happy and you know it and you really want to show it clasp your hands. Temper your emotions on a paper route and around women or risk going head over heels.

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10 Comments:

Blogger honkeie2 said...

Woman make us do the strangest things....like saving 4 entire pay checks for a shiney little clear rock. Werid

8:57 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

honk,
I think i hit ROCK bottom here.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

Thanks for the visit, thought it was time to abdicate....

6:13 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Zelda,
I rarely can.

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so much smoother now, di

6:51 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Diane,
You are the jelly out of my jam.

6:57 PM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

I have to remeber that one....'you are the jelly out of my jam'
A real panty dropped in my book.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Honk,
i'm a hopeless romantic, what can I say?

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting.......!!

11:40 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
my luck runs in CYCLES.

6:09 PM  

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