Freudian Slips: Darn Those Socks

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

May 25, 2006

Darn Those Socks

Look at him working. Darning those socks in the night when there is nobody there. What does he care? All the lonely people where do they all come from? All the lonely people where do they all belong?
-Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles
With great distinction, I know a client named Lavernius, who has severe mental retardation and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Deftly aware of his surroundings, I consider Lavernius a shrewd individual. You would not know that by looking at him. A former caretaker nicknamed Lavernius “The Fresh Prince” because of his resourcefulness in picking up new behaviors. When trying to modify his behavior, a new behavior often would surface to fill the void of the extinguished one. He could teach an old dog new tricks. Alarmingly, The Fresh Prince responds equally to both positive and negative attention. Tell The Fresh Prince not to do something that may jeopardize his well being and he will repeat the undesirable act until you wish you had not corrected his actions in the first place.
The Fresh Prince started to wag a domestic war by destroying his personal property in an unusual manner. The Fresh Prince was not punching holes in the walls or ransacking his bedroom. Instead, he was covertly shredding his socks one tendril stitch at a time until nothing was left of his socks. His disposable income was diminishing just putting socks on his feet. This maladaptive behavior was not a question of supervision. The Fresh Prince deprived himself of sleep to darn his socks through the night.
Withholding personal property can erupt into a human rights issue so I recommended the purchase of thermal insulated socks. I fathomed that The Fresh Prince’s puny fingers were not strong enough to single-handedly pick apart the high-grade socks. I was right. However, The Fresh Prince not only out foxed me but he socked it to me. Apparently needing something to pick at, The Fresh Prince chose a material he would never exhaust. He started to pick at himself. A scratch expanded to a sore, a sore graduated to an open wound, an open wound turned into a nasty hole that wound up infected.
Since I was the architect behind the nightmare, I traveled out to see my work. Upon visiting him, The Fresh Prince caught me incredulously staring at his remarkable self-inflicted wound. The Fresh Prince issued me a look like I should have left well enough alone. Indeed. I realized then that I never knew how good The Fresh Prince had it. We are going back to those cheap socks so he can be darning his socks in the night when there is nobody there. Darn those socks. Damn those socks.



Anonymous et said...

My Aunt Carrie had a favorite saying, "It ain't broken; it just needs a little fixen." Well, Joe, you just proved her wrong! A "little fixen" in this case was leading to a complete breakdown. Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I should quit my job and open up a sock factory.

4:50 PM  
Blogger awaiting said...

All I can say is WOW! I was a psych major in school...didn't do a darn thing with it...But I find your site really fascinating!

I will be back more and hope you don't mind if I add you to my blogroll.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

You're awaiting an ex, I'm awaiting readers. lol. seriously, glad you like my blog.

10:45 PM  
Blogger StrangelyFamiliar said...

I must admit, there is some very good reading here, I'll be back for more.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I like your taste and your name. lol

11:38 PM  

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