Freudian Slips: The Burning Bush

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

January 08, 2006

The Burning Bush

-the spirit of Christmas was much like a burning bush.

I felt like a burn victim living with pyromaniacs this past holiday season. I carried with me an impending feeling about accidental fire even on Christmas Day. I do not know what sparked this ominous emotion but I started to act hyper vigilant around flame. For those of you keeping score at home, my remarks did not win any affection from loving family members, who perceived me to be a kook.

December 17, 2005. My daughter had friends over to the house. They were using a portable space heater to stay warm in the basement. I lambasted my wife that the heater could cause a fire and it shouldn’t run constantly by carefree teenagers without adult supervision. The heater stayed on. Score: wife 1 husband 0.
December 18, 2005. I found my son innocently tending to the burning wood in the hearth of the fireplace. I overzealously questioned my son whether he was responsible enough to interact with the element of fire. After checking with my wife, the fire burned. Score: wife 2 husband 0.
December 24, 2005. I observed my son emptying hot candle wax onto a paper plate to create a cleaner burn for the wick. Before I asked too many questions, I barked that paper products should not be a receptacle for hot wax. My overreaction got nowhere with his mother, who overruled me. The candle burned on. Score: wife 3 husband 0.
December 25, 2005. The family is gathered together over my in-laws to exchange gifts. About 9pm, the raw shouts of “Fire!” could be heard. A lit candle overturned onto a side table and ignited a wreath. The burning bush was tossed outside on the rain-soaked ground to prevent further spread of the fire. The bad feeling, which I harbored inside me, finally went away.
When safety is on the line, trust your intuition even when it isn’t a popular decision among family members.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Lindsey said...

LOL. I hope your wife has learned to listen to you now. You're a smart man.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Don't you wish we were able to fine tune ur intuition?

7:09 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

linny,
i may need to use you as a reference.

erin,
the closest I have come is yelling "Movie" in a crowded fire house.

7:50 PM  
Blogger PaxRomano said...

Do you ever get hunches about lottery numbers?

8:50 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

pax,
story forthcoming.

11:28 PM  
Blogger justrose said...

wow, that is totally freaky, you had a premonition! but i always have the same nagging fear. this time of year is candle-and-space-heater central. i like summertime better, i don't feel as anxious around airconditioners.

8:35 AM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

I always have a fire putting out thingie close by.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Karl said...

Damn! I'll never doubt you again! But your wife still won, 3 to 1!

5:22 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

I'm with justrose. I always feel that way this time of year, too. I don't like to use the gas fireplace,and I even worry about those silly little tree lights.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

rose,
Yeah, I never did anything but ooh around air conditioning units.

honk,
thanks for the safety tip.

karl,
nothing new over here. Never marry a high powered executive, who doesn't comprehend off duty hours. lol.

merci,
okay okay I am not psychic. lol.

9:06 PM  

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