Freudian Slips: Fangs for the Memory

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

July 03, 2005

Fangs for the Memory

In arm's way again.

While cleaning out my salt water aquarium this morning, I had a brush with mortality. Up to my arm pits in sea water, I felt an unmistakable piercing sting on my arm. An insect sting is a helpless feeling for someone with my skin disease. Splashing a lot of water round in the process, I recoiled my arm to dry land. Something envenomous just left two fang marks on my forearm. I had no idea what stung me but my arm immediately burned and itched. The sting area reddened. I wasted a lot of mental energy trying to figure out what in the heck could have stung me.
I reached my svelte 120 pound wife on her cell phone at a Weight Watchers meeting? I explained the bizarre event and she escalated to frantic mode. I popped chewable Benadryl out of the medicine cabinet and waited for her and God's next move. I started to sweat profusely and felt a little weak so I sat down. I clutched the Epi-pen as if it were the antidote to my life but I did not use it. Ninety percent curiosity and ten percent stupidity got the best of me. I speculated whether the last four years of immunotherapy would actually prevent my Mastocytosis from flooding my system with excess histamine causing me unconsciousness and anaphylactic shock.
While I worked on my science experiment, my wife raced home. She found me in the kitchen, the same room where I labored following previous bee stings in 2001. Call it deja vodoo on a footstool to death's door. My wife began to sob when I said I wanted to wait it out and not go to the emergency room. I speculated about a list of villains including microorganisms, poisonous coral, and water spiders. I tried biofeedback to lower my blood pressure and calm my body for the next 45 minutes. Gradually, the swelling on my arm stopped, the sweating subsided, and my airways were never in jeopardy.
I think longingly of all the days I have invested sitting in a hospital getting immunotherapy but this was my first litmus test with an insect sting. My arm still hurts like hell but I am not laying in a hospital hooked up to a vent and tubes. Three cheers for immunotherapy but a guy should be safe in his own home. Why do I have so many encounters with insects? I feel like I am never out of arms way.

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12 Comments:

Blogger justrose said...

oh god. i'm glad you're okay.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Glad that you're OK. Maybe the therapy really worked?

10:35 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Glad that you're OK. Maybe the therapy really worked?

10:36 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Glad that you're OK. Maybe the therapy really worked?

10:36 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Glad that you're OK. Maybe the therapy really worked?

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bless Immunotherapy!Thanks agian for being here to share this! Have you found who tried to commit the murder? chi

1:35 PM  
Anonymous ET said...

Thank God and the U of P for getting you out of another fine mess. We love you,too,too much to have anything happen to you.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

jr,
welcome back to blogger diaries.

zelda,
you were remiss in not defining what type of therapy.

chi,
the assasin remains unknown.

et,
i am around for the insect community to kick me around another day.

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this a publicity stunt to promote your book? Or are you setting us up for the sequel?

Also, you acutally stated your wife's weight and that she was at a weight watchers meeting--grounds for divorce I'm sure--that if she lets you live!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Anonymous,
The wife actually let me live on two other occasions. The weight reference was a compliment. We still swing from chandeliers.

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Joe. I was scared reading it. Those shots sure are working. I would say this is another point for Team Masto. Emily

6:33 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Emily,
A shot of optimism and my bicep looks bigger in person even without the swelling.

7:37 PM  

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