Freudian Slips: An Eccentric Life

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

June 28, 2005

An Eccentric Life

A few months ago, I had a sensational dream that I was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show. A vivid dream, I have a trace memory of Oprah supportively resting her hand on my leg. Enough about dreams and back to reality.

Regular readers might recall me announcing my inclusion in Ripley’s Believe It or Not; Planet Eccentrics hardback book due out this fall(see 12-16-04 post called @Ripleys.com). I recently received a mind-boggling email from the publishing company. The publishing company is asking me to go on a promotional tour for their book, which includes appearances on some noteworthy television shows. Trust me, I am not dreaming. Here is the email.

Dear Joe Tornatore

I am representing the Mint Publishing Group and we are publishing the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not; Planet Eccentric book this October. We are currently preparing our promotional campaigns for the Fall and we would like to know if you would be interested in participating in upcoming promotions for this new title? These promotions would primarily be on National TV such as Regis and Kelly, Oprah, Good Morning America, Montel Williams Show etc.
Your transportation, food, hotel etc would be covered, but please keep in mind I cannot answer any further questions regarding payment at this time, I am just enquiring about expression of interest at present.
If you are interested in participating in the promotion of our new book or you require more information, please contact me as soon as possible at xxxxxxx or via phone at xxxxxxxxx. I have attached a PDF flyer for you to view.
I do not know if congratulations are in order because I suspect there is a further selection process to make the promotional tour. I did express splendid interest. Who wouldn’t want to be pampered as a paid guest on television shows? When there exists no promotional tour for your own book, living a high profile life promoting somebody elses book may be a pretty damn good substitute. Not bad for a guy getting stung by a bee.

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12 Comments:

Blogger PaxRomano said...

I'm your agent! YOUR AGENT! DAMN IT!!! I'll make the Tom Cruise Publicity Machine look like a slow moving zamboni!!!!

:::franticly places call to Leno's people:::

10:06 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Pax,
You and yours have to come up with something better than silk roses in a vase.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe, remember, I still want Shirley Mclaine to play me.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

ET,
And I want 35% of the gate but that ain't happening either.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and I want to ride the zamboni !!!!!

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How cool is that. Go Team Masto Leader. Neat Neat Neat. Wow Wow Wow. Emily

6:32 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Way to go! Too coooool!

6:58 AM  
Blogger diane's coworker said...

Maybe Diane can get a piece of the action for herself, she could write a book, The Bee Man's Wife, or Wife of the Bee Man Blogger -- publish it, do her own signings-- and go on tour! She is the hero in your tale-- you were just the guy who nearly died!

Or have her go to your signings and autograph her picture for people!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Zelda,
At least 10 years till retirement no matter how you slice it.

Emily,
Team Masto may need a manager.

Diane's Co-worker,
I am a little softer under bright lights and a rolling camera.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get the heck out of here!!!!

Your Mom was always pretty psychic...did she ever see this sort of thing happening to you??? You know me, I've always believed in ESP, astrology, etc., so I'm not being funny about this.

I'm glad that you seem to be able to make lemonade out of the BIG lemon you received via that bee.

LET ME/US KNOW "when" you are making your appearances. With your sense of humor, I know that they will all love you!

Steph

8:32 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Steph,
Still a longshot. Nice to be considered though.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't imagine that they wouldn't! I think that the fact that they even "considered" you and asked to see if you were interested was because there is something in the works. Besides, your figure is relatively new in the museum and you just had an autographing event there. You're still in their as something of interest - not a has been.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

Steph

9:58 PM  

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