Freudian Slips: Roadside Assistance

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

April 20, 2007

Roadside Assistance

Straight from the archival vault of Freudian Slips, my friend’s car once broke down on the freeway. He coasted the clunker car to the empty shoulder then hitchhiked home to gather the necessary tools to fix his flat tire. He used a secondary vehicle to return to the scene, where his initial worry about abandoning his car on the side of the road relented to peace of mind. Repairs had to be completed before nightfall, however, so he hunched over in a kneel struggling to remove stubborn lug nuts in order to fix the flat tire.
The cars whizzing by forced waves of air on his back. After a few minutes, another car pulled up. Two cars now parked behind the one disabled vehicle. My hardworking friend heard approaching footsteps and assumed a Good Samaritan arrived to offer roadside assistance. A stranger indeed stopped at the disabled vehicle wielding a long screwdriver. He crouched then started to pry a hubcap off a wheel using the tool for leverage. The two men now worked on the same side of the disabled car but on different wheels.
“What do you think you’re doing?” solicited my friend.
The wily man replied, “Just because you were here first on the scene doesn’t mean you’re entitled to steal all four hubcaps. Don’t be stingy. I’m taking as many as I can before dark just like you.”
“Stingy?” my friend incredulously replied. “I went home for tools. These are both my bleeping cars you thieving a$$hole!”

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Marcus said...

I told you I would give them back.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

Seems I cannot keep hubcaps on my car lately. Hummm.....what's up with that?

8:04 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

marcus,
hardy har har. Buy a DVD player, enjoy life again.

Zelda,
buy a BMW, aren't they hubcap free? See you next Friday.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

What culinary delight are you bringing for lunch?

7:21 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Zelda,
To be determined.

8:35 AM  
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12:47 AM  
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12:43 PM  

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