Freudian Slips: Scaling Back the Big Tuna

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

September 01, 2005

Scaling Back the Big Tuna

On July 2, 2005 Dan Dillion caught a whale of a tuna fish. In an inlet off of the Atlantic Ocean, Dillion reeled in an 873 pound bluefin tuna. The catch more than doubled Delaware's previous state record. A quarter ton of fish! Holy mackerel, well almost. How much tuna fish and grilled tuna steaks has Dillion been chowing down on? He isn't biting and here is why.
Reportedly, the big fish contained exceedingly high doses of mercury that make it not only illegal to sell but it could be considered unconscionable to give away to sworn enemies. Studies have shown mercury harms brain development. Consumption of tainted seafood should only occur in small dosages while children and pregnant women need to be even more careful. Fish stories don't get much bigger or worse for the environment than this precautionary tail. The mercury readings, however, didn't stop Dan Dillion from having an inlet shop carve it up into 500 pounds of steaks then hosting a wild tuna party. Talk about a 'if you see food don't eat it party.' that sends everyone home reeling. The party invitations might have suggested for hungry guests to bring their own metal detectors and a bag lunch just in case.
I imagine the granddaddy fish enduring its toxicity to trawl the waters watching other fish die of unnatural causes year upon year. I bet he probably lost a ton of friends in the Valdez oil spill alone. So I wonder if that dying tuna propped a snicker on his scaly face when he was hauled aboard the vessel after a 75 minute struggle. In his grandness, maybe the big fish somehow knew he could not be eaten by his captors without causing concern about mercury poisoning.
I argue that the less industrialized a nation, the more beautiful its bodies of water. Industrial pollution is a major culprit for degrading ocean water quality on the planet we call home. In other words, mankind is defecating in its own backyard. While deemed illegal now, straight pipes running from homes used to pump human waste into tributaries which polluted the ocean. When the cheery TV show Love Boat graced the silver screen, unregulated cruise ships emptied garbage into the deep blue sea. We are paying for our past sins gill-ty as charged. Call it a catch-22 but Dan Dillion took a hit for the team.
I have no beefs with sports fishing if the bounty taken from the sea is consumed. If it can't be eaten, what exactly is the point? A hundred years from now, I worry that the oceans will resemble brackish water and people will start dying from eating a single mercurial seafood hors d'oeuvre. In that doomsday scenario, the arrogance of mankind may be more likely to list creatures like tuna as a predator then take social responsibility for his rape of the earth? It is food for thought. Put down the knife and fork because it is only food for thought.



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7:59 AM  
Anonymous et said...

Joe, you make a valid argument for keeping the earth clean. I have to say though, the only thing that I detest more than contaminated fish; are all of the A-holes that leave self-serving commercials on blog sites for their product in the guise of a legitimate comment.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

I saw this news item, and it just made me sad. I really do wonder about the future of our world.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

May God have MERCY on us all.

11:15 AM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

Hmmmm, depressing Joe. Thank you for my daily shot of reality! I am also of the opinion that if you're gonna kill it you should have to eat it. I don't suppose that anyone that hunts or fishes for sport would be tragically affected by a little mercury there's already a problem with higher brain function to want to kill for sport. Too bad the grandaddy of all tuna is dead, I would like to think that he might have gotten a bit bigger if left to his own devices! check out my blog, you got tagged! Have a great day.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Joe, you do make a great argument in favor of the environment.
It's sad to think that all that filthy disgusting water from NOLA is now being dumped into the lake. Really unfortunate, but where else are they going to put it?
We go fishing all the time (well, not lately as the pond is very low) but we catch and release. We want to see the fishies get bigger for the next year and the year after that. We make no exceptions no matter how big they are. And we don't saltwater fish.

9:12 AM  

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