The Twilight Zone

"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."

-Rod Sterling

On the evening of March 2, 2005, I received a frantic call on the telephone. "Joe, you better turn on the television because you're coming on the Sci-Fi channel."

“The Sci-Fi channel? Why? What do you mean?” I asked.

“Later.” he parted.

I decided to believe the caller and risk embroiling myself in an elaborate hoax aimed at getting my goad. I hollered up to my wife to turn to the Sci-Fi channel. We did not need to turn on a television because at least two TV sets churn kilowatts at any give time. My stomach began tying knots worthy of a sailor’s approval. I paced in circles at first then Katterina Witt figure eights. A minute later, I canvassed the staircase leading to our bedroom. My wife lay strewn on the bed in disbelief.

The Sci-Fi channel just picked up Ripley’s Believe It or Not in syndication and they were airing my episode. Can there be a more ironic moment than walking into your master bedroom and seeing your own wedding kiss broadcast on the Sci-Fi channel? Gulp. Gulp. Love and science fiction should never be melded together. Add real actors, my beekeeper’s suit, and a Rod Sterling voiceover and Prest-O Change-O you have the makings of a stellar Twilight Zone episode.

http://www.scifi.com/ripleys/episodes/season3/315.html

I started to get fan mailed emailed to me later that night from television viewers. Never doubt the power of a Google search. Dave Morejon of Tampa, Florida gave me permission to reproduce his letter to me.

Mr. Tornatore,

After seeing your story this evening on Ripley's Believe It Or Not television show (airing March 2, 2005 9:00PM Eastern) I was struck by a saying we use during many a wild evening. While my cousins and our friends, and fathers and their friends, are drinking together we usually end up in a game of enthusiasm. We break into two even numbered groups, face each other and chant a saying back and forth, getting louder each time. As we chant louder each time we also get more daring, say by jumping around and/or ripping our shirts off for the next round (females included), until one team is outdone by the other and can no longer top their crazy antics. Our chant is what I would like to pass on to you because it applies to many aspects of life in that it means that there are no problems with us, we have no chip on our shoulder and we are not afraid to stand up and face the challenge. I imagined you saying it as you bravely shed your suit for your wedding day. The saying is: THERE AIN'T NO FLIES ON US, THERE AIN'T NO FLIES ON US, THERE MAY BE FLIES ON SOME OF YOU GUYS, BUT THERE AIN'T NO FLIES ON US!!!

Sincerely,

David Morejon Tampa, FL