Freudian Slips: Yes Jiminy There Isn't a Santa Claus

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

December 05, 2009

Yes Jiminy There Isn't a Santa Claus

The fake Santa Claus jostled into place the loose bed pillows underneath his bright red borrowed suit. With his body perspiring in the thick costume, he waddled into a fourth grade elementary school classroom yelping a round of his best ho-ho-ho’s. The elementary school children responded favorably with surprise and adulation. Twenty-four hours earlier, the fun-loving man playing iconic Santa Claus provided custodial care by wielding a wet mop in this same classroom.
In on the ruse, the teacher welcomed Santa Claus with Season’s Greetings.
“Merry Christmas!” shouted Santa Claus to Jewish and Gentile children alike.
The man playing Santa Claus had a pinch too much entertainer in him for perhaps even the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. He moved around the classroom greeting kids. Santa danced as if he had bells on his feet. He soon waddled to an aisle seat to his left. Santa stopped at a desk of his choosing hoping that his deliberate actions appeared random. Praying that his full white beard would not wardrobe malfunction, Santa hunched his upper body towards a sheepish student.
“Have you been a good boy?”
With all of the yelling, Santa’s voice sounded hoarse by now. This aided not only his disguise but concealed his identity. The male student, however, appeared shy about receiving individual attention. He squirmed in his seat and said nothing.
Good Ole Saint Nick needled him. “Santa thinks you have been naughty this year. I hope it isn’t going to be a lean Christmas for you.”
About this time, the boy’s eyes met Santa Claus’s eyes. Between the two sets of almond pupils bore a trace of familiarity. The boy searched for the gift of right words.
Another classmate broke-up the holiday cheer. “Jim, that’s your brother, stupid! You know, the school custodian.”

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Anonymous Jim said...

It is always nice to be continuously reminded of the embarrassing moments from the past. It is even more post-traumatic to remember that the custodian in the story was the Narc for Mom and Dad. "The Spy Who Told All!"


11:29 AM  
Anonymous et said...

Holiday cheer...brings back memories...not from the bottle, but from the written word.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

don't tempt me back into the suit to fool your

thanks for stopping by.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Jim said...

Joe, I was not fooled. Everyone knew it was you, including me; however, I was too embarrassed to participate!

10:37 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

great story! sounds like home(familiar)

10:11 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

That's your story and your sticking to it.

Don't worry. He turned out all right. lol

8:04 AM  

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