Freudian Slips: The Eagles Will Win

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

November 02, 2006

The Eagles Will Win

-The Eagles Will Wynn...but when?
In a sheltered workshop teaming will collating and assembly work contracts, many of the developmentally disabled clients dressed up this past Halloween in attention grabbing costumes. At his busy workstation, I approached Fred who dressed in a Philadelphia Eagles football jersey complete with oversized shoulder pads. Fred tipped his Philadelphia Eagles visor the moment he saw me enter the open-aired workshop. Like the Eagles of late, I couldn't pass on the opportunity.

“Now that is scary, Fred.” I greeted. “It takes a brave soul to be a Philadelphia Eagles player this year.”

“He-he, you guessed it. I’m an Eagles player. Na-no fooling you.”

Following the Eagles lackluster 13-6 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, I had been listening to sports talk radio for two days. Venomous fans crucified every player on the team from the third string quarterback to the water boy. More compassionate callers and level headed radio show hosts vainly tried to dissect the problems of the talented local football team only a year removed from reaching the coveted Super Bowl. I decided to elicit the opinion of Fred, a true hardcore Eagles fan diagnosed with mild retardation.

I asked, “Fred, can you answer a question about the Eagles?”

“Wa-wa-what Joe?”

I decided to make a multiple choice dartboard to make it easier on Fred's compromised speech. “Mired in a three game losing streak, the Eagles team to a man has to ask themselves what went wrong and how to fix it. There is plenty of blame to be shared in a team game but fingers point to bad coaching, a lack of leadership, poor execution, and underachieving players not showing emotion. I ask you as a fan, what do you think is the major problem of your favorite football team?”

Flanked by a ghoul and a giant pumpkin, football Fred laid it on the fifty-yard line. “Wa-well its like this, Joe. The other ta-ta-teams… Yeah… the other ta-ta-teams. The other ta-ta teams are scoring more points.”

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9 Comments:

Anonymous john albanese said...

yo joe,lets line up will wynn at def tackle,he will get more tackles than broderick bunkley just by people tripping over him and he wont say "next question"at the news conference!another thought provoking blog you wrote.will our birds soar in the second half or have their wings clipped and limp out of the playoffs again.john a.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

john,
It's fingernail biting time.

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Catherine Mary said...

Joe. Keep the faith. The Eagles will win again.

3:00 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Catherine Mary,
It is when that matters.

8:17 AM  
Blogger honkeie2 said...

maybe if the ball was a little bigger they might have a better chance.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't give up hope yet, Joe. You haven't played the Skins yet.

Mike

4:59 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Honk,
poignant color commentary. lol

Mike,
The Eagles have been favored in every game this year. The underdog scares us.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the Eagles, for me its the only three hour block of time you slow down enough to sit on a couch, and we can snuggle.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

diane,
A moving target is harder to hit.

8:01 AM  

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