Freudian Slips: Flexing My Muscle

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

July 09, 2006

Flexing My Muscle

I have been working out in the gym about two hours a day for a cameo in an upcoming movie shoot. Let me just say that middle age is hard to reverse with only four weeks notice that you got the part.
In a seemingly unrelated matter, I took my eleven-year-old son to a sporting goods store the other day to buy camping supplies for Boy Scouts. Just inside the store, my attention got diverted. In front of the clothing apparel department, the rippling muscles of a life-size mannequin almost burst out of a body wrap tee shirt. I stopped my son at the base of the mannequin for idol conversation.
“Jim, I want you to be honest and don’t worry about hurting my feelings.” Wearing an identical cling shirt as the mannequin, I puffed out my chest like the NBC peacock then asked, “Can you tell any difference between my physique and the mannequin?”
He stared up at the mannequin then turned to me for only a glance. “What are you kidding?” he blurted out with sarcasm. “Big difference!”
As we walked on, I took my lumps in stride. After picking out a mosquito tent, I lost sight of Jim. A few minutes later, I saw him walking in the front of the store. He had his back to me as he looked for me down the checkout aisles. I started to walk towards him when I noticed that my trek repositioned me in front of that muscular mannequin. Jim had only one more checkout lane to inspect before he would have to turn around and look for me elsewhere. I decided to test out not only my physique but my acting ability. I flexed my muscles and struck a stone-faced Adonis pose next to the mannequin. In a Herculean effort to blend in with my background, I sucked in my gut and did not move a muscle.
Not to be fooled, however, Jimmy walked right up to me.
“Really now.” remarked Jimmy dead-pan. “Joe, what do you think you’re doing?”
Jim is no dummy and neither am I.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny blog, the entries with quotes from Jimmy are always my favorite. he is hilarous

1:06 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

anonymous,
I will tell him anonymous said so.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Merci said...

I know what you mean about middle aged reversals. I'm working on that, too. Stick with it, it's worth it!

1:37 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I noticed.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous et said...

Jimmy is so cool!!!! You need him around to bring you back to reality. Just got to love him.

8:25 AM  

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