Wendy's...Dismembership Doesn't Have Its Privileges

Wendy's on a chili night.

A patron dining at a Wendy's restaurant in San Jose, California claims to have found a human finger in her chili. I don't know if it was three or four alarm chili but the unusual discovery brought the police to the scene. Authorities are scrambling to determine whether they have a crime or OSHA health violation on their five digit hands. I don't know about you but I haven't had finger foods since I was eight years old. When one finds a finger in their chili, it does give the option not to use a plastic spoon to stir. Think of the irony if this happened to Kentucky Fried Chicken and not Wendy's. KFC's Finger Lickin' Good motto may have been applauded for realism.

Police have searched the home of the woman who reports to have bit into the detached finger. Meanwhile, Wendy's is conducting an internal investigation of their own. Internal? What about an external hand check of all employees? How about erecting new bathroom signs in Wendy's with more concise instructions?

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS AND COUNT FINGERS BEFORE RESUMING WORK.

Truth be told, I love Wendy's chili. It is a great deal with a great taste. I don't think it needs any more meat other than ground beef. My instincts tell me this claim will be unfounded and not the negligence of Wendy's restaurant for all of you doubting Dave Thomas's. If there is a legitimate lawsuit to result, I am guessing it won't settle for single digits... Anyone out there willing to lend a hand in this unsolved mystery, please contact the proper authorities.

These puns will self-destruct in ten seconds...