Freudian Slips: Wendy's...Dismembership Doesn't Have Its Privileges

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Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

April 10, 2005

Wendy's...Dismembership Doesn't Have Its Privileges

Wendy's on a chili night.

A patron dining at a Wendy's restaurant in San Jose, California claims to have found a human finger in her chili. I don't know if it was three or four alarm chili but the unusual discovery brought the police to the scene. Authorities are scrambling to determine whether they have a crime or OSHA health violation on their five digit hands. I don't know about you but I haven't had finger foods since I was eight years old. When one finds a finger in their chili, it does give the option not to use a plastic spoon to stir. Think of the irony if this happened to Kentucky Fried Chicken and not Wendy's. KFC's Finger Lickin' Good motto may have been applauded for realism.
Police have searched the home of the woman who reports to have bit into the detached finger. Meanwhile, Wendy's is conducting an internal investigation of their own. Internal? What about an external hand check of all employees? How about erecting new bathroom signs in Wendy's with more concise instructions?
EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS AND COUNT FINGERS BEFORE RESUMING WORK.
Truth be told, I love Wendy's chili. It is a great deal with a great taste. I don't think it needs any more meat other than ground beef. My instincts tell me this claim will be unfounded and not the negligence of Wendy's restaurant for all of you doubting Dave Thomas's. If there is a legitimate lawsuit to result, I am guessing it won't settle for single digits... Anyone out there willing to lend a hand in this unsolved mystery, please contact the proper authorities.
These puns will self-destruct in ten seconds...

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7 Comments:

Blogger PaxRomano said...

Like my mother always pointed out, “It’s always fun and games until someone finds a digit in the chilli”

9:22 PM  
Blogger Lost said...

I have my doubts about her claim too. I have a friend who worked at Wendy's and I have a good idea how they make their chili and there is NO way a finger could have gotten in there. At least, not a way that wouldn't be perfectly obvious to everyone in the kitchen LOL.

7:37 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

I agree. I may even take the kids to Wendy's tonight for dinner. It will be a chilly night one way or the other.

8:30 AM  
Blogger justrose said...

I heard about this, and I used to like their chili too --

I would probably give it another chance, just give it a nice hearty stir beforehand with a spork ...

4:51 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Justrose and Pax,
Just a spoonful of chili helps the lawsuit go down, lawsuit go down.

9:29 PM  
Anonymous Joni Chachi said...

Thanks for this post! I always thought this lawsuit was a little fishy. I love this blog, keep up the good work here!

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

joni,
thanks for reading...I only write privately now.

5:13 PM  

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