Freudian Slips: Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, More Powerful Than A Locomotive, Look Up In The Sky...

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

April 07, 2005

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, More Powerful Than A Locomotive, Look Up In The Sky...

New Jersey is the most densely populated state in this country. It is an industrialized state with an euphuism for a nickname, The Garden State. It almost seems as though you go to bed at night and pod workers pour concrete foundation on farmland. Roads are littered with bad drivers motoring with and without the highest insurance premiums in the nation. Road rage is a growing problem. It is a habitat for inhumanity.
Stop and Go traffic makes commuting to and from almost anywhere a nightmare. The roads between my home and office have been under major construction for the last six months. Detours and single lanes have created more congestion and turned a simple drive into an awful commute. Get behind a monster Hummer and you won’t see the road ahead for miles.
I live only four miles from my office but this a stone’s throw in distance has turned into a 30 minute ride at rush hour. That is a ridiculous time and distance ratio. That is over seven minutes per mile. It equates to a couple of compact car lengths per minute. Bicyclists and joggers pass me by. A mother pushing her kid in a red wagon once beat me to a red light. I am reminded that the left lane is reserved for passing. When and where? An open stretch of countryside in rural Iowa?
I didn’t break any land speed records this week either. I actually got stuck in traffic on an overpass. My car idled on the bridge burning $2.05 cent a gallon gasoline nearly as precious a resource as it were in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Rain drizzling down added to the mix. I was stuck with cars in front of me, behind me, and below me on a busy corridor. As far as my eyes could see, hundreds of immobilized cars snarled traffic. I couldn’t imagine how things could get any worse…until I looked up in the sky. Attached to the branches of a budding tree rested an inhabited hornet’s nest. Already twenty minutes into my drive, it was time to buckle up for safety. The line couldn’t move fast enough. Spring is here to stay. As many of you know, this is my danger season. Bee safe is my motto.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Lost said...

Keep those windows rolled up Joe. Although I'm not allergic, I have a terrible fear of flying, stinging things.

6:02 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Thanks Lost, as it looks like we found similiar ground.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe,
Been there and wish I had not done that! May God keep you safe from all stinging things, including stinging remarks! Love ya! ET

9:04 AM  
Blogger the Contrary Goddess said...

Man oh man, I was thinking, WALKING is faster than that! A bicycle surely. Ah, but the bees!

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

babe, how true is the traffic problem. maybe we should get audio books to entertain us during our now lenghty drives, don't stress over the bees, your my superman nothing can harm you.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

ET, Contrary,Diane:
The luxury of electric windows will shield me from the stinging critters. I rejoice at every splat on my windshield.

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BEE CAREFUL AND BEE SAFE. I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BEE AROUND SOMETHING THAT CAUSES YOU TO REACT. YOU ARE THE UP UP GUY AND YOU WILL BEE A-OKAY. EMILY

5:55 PM  

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