Freudian Slips: The Seven Year Itch, a Short Time in Comparison

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Location: Irony, New Jersey, United States

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

November 01, 2004

The Seven Year Itch, a Short Time in Comparison

For the last few weeks, I have endured intense itching all over my body. I have been baffled as to what is the exact cause. Poison ivy hasn't appeared on my body and checking with my wife to see if she changed laundry detergents is pointless. You see, I do my own laundry and I haven't been in the woods lately.
Seriously folks, the real culprit is Mastocytosis. A symptom of my skin disease is itching but trying to determine what, if anything, is causing the itching is always the baffling part. For readers who do not have this disease, I offer the following comparison. The hundreds of tiny brownish-red lesions covering my skin itch like a nasty case of chicken pox that lasts for an entire lifetime. Can you hear me now? The seven year itch would be a short time in comparison and a more pleasurable experience. Not that I am allowed to scratch that either.
In understanding my body, I now can identify triggers which serve to intensify the itching - too much caffeine, rigorous exercise, extreme changes in temperature, situational stress, certain antibiotics, novel foods, etc. Every once in awhile, however, something gets beyond my vigilance and I must turn to using a metal rake from the garage as the back scratcher of choice. Not a pretty sight.
In this day and age, there is nothing wrong with being a sensitive guy but somebody has got to find a cure for Mastocytosis. I have broken all of my rakes and the Fall leaves are piling up in the yard.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny, I always thought the "Seven Year Itch" stood for something else...

I can't imagine what you go through with it!

- Steph

9:23 PM  

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